Leopard Thongs, By Dr. Philbilly

Ok, a few years ago me and a friend, let’s call him Julian, went to Hollywood, CA. One day we visited Venice Beach, just hanging out and enjoying the sites when I see this big muscle man on roller skates wearing nothing but a leopard print thong. Now, I’m from southern Mississippi so I just got to take a picture of this.

As I take the picture he spots me and starts coming my way. I look behind me but no one is there. He’s walking toward me. So I casually turn around and start to walk the other way. I take a left, he takes a left. I take a right, he takes a right. I speed up and he speeds up. I can’t shake this freak!

Finally I’m into an open run and he’s right on my tail. He is bent over at the waist with his arms swinging like an Olympic skater. Finally I run out of breath and just give up. I turn to face my demise like a man and set myself into the karate kid position. He slams on his brakes right beside me and says “Hey dude, you owe me a dollar”.

“Huh? I don’t owe you anything.”

“You took a picture of me so you owe me a dollar. That’s how I make my living.”

By now I’m getting my wind back. I have a dollar but I’m not giving it to him just out of pure principle and home grown stupidity. It’s a free world; I should be able to take a picture if I want. So I finally said “Ok, you win.”

I reached for my wallet like I was going to get his dollar and when the time was right I took off again. It looks like we are filming a movie scene. Everybody is just standing around watching this freak run me down. I’m running in circles basically and I’ve already run past Julian three times. (I’m sure he would have helped if he wasn’t so busy laughing.) I’m about to pass out and this dude hasn’t even broken a sweat yet. So I pull out a dollar from my pocket and just throw it over my shoulder behind me never breaking my stride. The man picks up the dollar and skates his happy thong-splitting butt back to his corner of the beach.

Julian walks up to me and opens his mouth to say something but I stop him in mid sentence. “Whatever Julian, you just better not tell anyone about this, and stop laughing!”

I gotta get back to Mississippi. I’m just sayin’.


DrPhilbilly DrPhilbilly
41-45
18 Responses Jul 22, 2010

lol...All was missing was the rest of his freaky roller derby team ha ha! Now that would have been a scarry sight :)

Ha ha!!! There won't be no next time lol. I carry plenty of singles on me now for just such emergencies :)

Give him a run for his money next time...go on, it's a challenge.

Ok so I'm in New Orleans Speaking of being diddled out of a dollar.. Some dood swaggers over to us, actually he knew how to hold us spellbound, looks down at our shoes and says "You owe me a dollar if I can guess where you got them shoes?" So we took the bait, just to get rid of him more than anything. "Ok so where, we ask?" He says: "You got them shoes on Bourbon Street New Orleans". AAAAA+ for gullible. We thought it was worth a dollar for gettng sucked in good and proper!

He worn me down Shady. U cant out run a dude on a misson wearing skates lol.

ha ha...I was at a loss of words myself. Not a lack of strtange screams however but certainly a loss of words lol.

LOL I'm speechless!

Raindrop...I needed a motorcycle. This cat should have been in the freak olympics. He was fast lol.

Now ...That was funny. You needed roller skates! ..........LOL

Believe it or not...I do have a picture of the dude at home. when i get back i will post it. have that dollar ready lol.

I would give you a dollar to post that picture with this hilarious story.

its not that pretty. i tried it once and put it on backwards. was funny but not a pretty sight lol...what part of mississippi are u from? im on the coasr. hancock county.

It wasnt the dollar, it was the principle of the thing. I should be able to take a picture of anything I want in a public place free of charge. turns out my priciples wasnt quite worth it. He got the dollar anyway :)

What a dumb thing to run from. It was a Fing dollar.

rjastein, just another dayin my life. Why is everbody alway pickin on me? lol :)

Alilimaired, you should hear my friend tell it. He was just standing the there the whole time drunking a coke and laughing. Offering no help. If I would have gotten mugged he would have been no help lol.

Stahl, I thought I had landed in the Twilight Zone and 1 dollar was the price of admission lol. I got alot of excersice tho :)

HAHAHA!!! Nice :) <br />
<br />
Yeah, I reckon Ol' Miss isn't nearly as "open" about such things as Venice Beach.<br />
Funny. Thanks.