The Irish Prostitute

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.

'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff...Dad...I became a prostitute.'

'Ye what!!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club...(takes a breath)...and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year’s Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'

'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff...a prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'

'Oh! B’Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!!!'

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54 Responses Jan 3, 2011

Sooo funny. Nearly laughed me deleted Protestant head off (with authenticity, support, and respect).

LOL! :)

Just tooo right.All fun and tongue in cheek Life shouldn't be so serious,just live happily ever after,like my prody dad and mi catholic mum.Well most of the time ,anyway

..Nice one for selective hearing.


Lol, dad doesnt care about if she sins, or if shes a disc race to the Catholics, he cares bout the gifts, dats a dad who uses his child just to get stuff from em!!! Lol. Dats y i like my parents, they actualy care bout me, and dont use me like some parents, lol

Lol reminds me of the Pope celibate/ celebrate joke...


The best I have read in the last 3 months!
I smiled and all !
Thank you.

Crack up.

yeah Funny

Yep. The old ones are the best- in my case about sixty years ago, but I expect it goes back to Henry the Eighth's time.


It's how you want to hear it!

love that one. Materials, smh


LMFAO ! That was hysterical !

Parents like that makes me mad. Selfish and uncaring. I would be ashamed. But far as a joke I See nothing funny




Haha. Protestant.

:))))))) made my day! thanks.

love it

I have always enjoyed this one I first heard this one in California in 1981 but it is still good after all these years!!!


idiot indeed...

Haha, sneaky dad.

Nothing much changed since I heard it in school sixty years ago- but still good.

So true...

A true it!! :)

That was pretty funny

you're welcome foe

Brilliant man,i am happy no one else was around when i read this..i am still laughing...

Very true. Last summer I was having quite a good time with a group of Irishmen who were on a visit down south ... till I told them I was 'technically' a member of the protestant church.

He he he, soooo funny :D

that is a great joke!


:) :) Very funny, young lad!

again i read it again I laughed :D

I think I laughed my *** clean off... Chair seems more uncomfortable, anyway.


Now that is very funny.



That is a good one! lol

Rofl man. Annie is gunna hate me for telling her this one. Bwahahah

Wonderful so glad the chuch is still in the running of good jokes.<br />
Love the Irish, cheers

lol..... where did you get it?

Great funny joke . thanks Ronanp, you are hilarious as usual.XoXo

so good :)

HAHA!! it damn funny!

That was funny! Heehee!

That is brilliant!!!!! (^_^)

very good ... I have a few people I'll show this to ... hehe