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The Irish Prostitute

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.

'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff...Dad...I became a prostitute.'

'Ye what!!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club...(takes a breath)...and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year’s Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'

'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff...a prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'

'Oh! B’Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!!!'

deleted deleted 26-30 62 Responses Jan 3, 2011

Your Response


Sooo funny. Nearly laughed me deleted Protestant head off (with authenticity, support, and respect).

LOL! :)

Just tooo right.All fun and tongue in cheek Life shouldn't be so serious,just live happily ever after,like my prody dad and mi catholic mum.Well most of the time ,anyway

Hahaha awesome. A very important difference.

..Nice one for selective hearing.


Lol, dad doesnt care about if she sins, or if shes a disc race to the Catholics, he cares bout the gifts, dats a dad who uses his child just to get stuff from em!!! Lol. Dats y i like my parents, they actualy care bout me, and dont use me like some parents, lol

Hey prostitutes are totally biblical.

Lol reminds me of the Pope celibate/ celebrate joke...


The best I have read in the last 3 months!
I smiled and all !
Thank you.

Crack up.

yeah Funny

Yep. The old ones are the best- in my case about sixty years ago, but I expect it goes back to Henry the Eighth's time.


It's how you want to hear it!

love that one. Materials, smh


LMFAO ! That was hysterical !

Parents like that makes me mad. Selfish and uncaring. I would be ashamed. But far as a joke I See nothing funny



Ha ha ha:-)


Haha. Protestant.

:))))))) made my day! thanks.

love it

I have always enjoyed this one I first heard this one in California in 1981 but it is still good after all these years!!!


idiot indeed...

Haha, sneaky dad.