A Few (dirty) Jokes

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but can't eat it.

How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your ****.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.

What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Money.

What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
They've both swallowed a lot of *****.

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
It's not hard.

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
She is the one who can eat the last donut!

What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
A pick pocket snatches watches.

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26-30
6 Responses Mar 27, 2011

I luv dis

Clever jokes are funny, guffaw-worthy...sexist ones deserve to be on Discovery I.D.'s "Wives w/Knives." How tired are we of women-hating 'cuz guys have wee warts between their legs. Educated guys adore smart women.

Q: What's long and hard and has *** in it?
A: A cuCUMber....you should be ashamed

Yup, I am ashamed

LOL. I made the joke about most men being stupid as my fb status. If I wind up dead in a gutter from making fun of the boys, we know who blame :P LOL

What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?<br />
A pick pocket snatches watches.<br />
<br />
(The rest of the joke is) And a peeping Tom watches snatches!

LMAO - Gotta remember these *still having a good laugh at 3:30am *