Daily Joke 10-31-2006

I start with a 'safe' joke about a blonde girl... (he thats me ;-) )

A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"

linda linda
26-30, F
30 Responses Oct 31, 2006

lol. Got to be thankful for blondes to make smile and laugh! :)

Hi Linda... you are no 'blonde' - that was a clever one :)

That was hilarious......love it!

Love it:)

very good:)

lol very nice

LOL i get it

hahaha so true

I liked it!!

That was so funny! I love it!

Thanks for the smile.

Oh my!

So wait.....No chilly then? Man! I was looking forward to some free food. *lol*


so funny it made me laugh out loud

Pick me! pick me! ok ok<br />
A blond opened a door.<br />
its funny cus they're to stupid to figure out the mechanics of doors.<br />

How do you get a blond on the roof???? You tell her drinks are on the house....<br />
<br />
What does a blond call Cheerio's???? Donut seeds....<br />
<br />
How do you know a blond's been using the computer???? There's white out on the screen....<br />
<br />
How does a blond turn the light on after sex???? Opens the car door....<br />
<br />
How do you kill a blond???? Put a mirror at the bottom of a swimming pool.....<br />
Put spikes in her shoulder pads.....Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a tub.....



Blonde goes to hair dresser for hair cut . says to hairdreeser can you cut my hair and you must leave my head phones on. The hairdressers says ofcourse. S0 she gets ahair cut but she goes to sleeep and the hairdressers is tempted to remove the head phones, but keeps his word, and finishes the hair cut, and wakes the blonde who is happy with the result.<br />
<br />
About i month later the blonde returns for another hair cut with the same request, please donot removw head phones. Again the hairdresser says he will not, She gose to sleep and the hair dresser removes the head phones to cut her hair will save a hugh amount of time.<br />
<br />
The hairdresser finishes and looks at the blonde and she is dead he panics and calls emeregency departsments, while waiting he thought he had better put head phones back on the Blonde and he listens to the phones and they are saying "Breath in Breath out":

Did you hear about the blonde that... <br />
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.<br />
<br />
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"<br />
<br />
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.<br />
<br />
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".<br />
<br />
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.<br />
<br />
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms. xD

Brunette:When I grow up, ILL GO TO MARS<br />
Brown:When I grow up, ILL GO TO VENUS<br />
Blondie:When I grow up ILL GO TO THE SUN<br />
Brunette:But you will burn!<br />
Blondie:Dont be stupid, Ill go at night!

hi..sounds good Your appreciated....God bless you....:)

^.^ my turn!! my turn!!!<br />
<br />
A blond turns on the television and flips to the news channel. she hears the weather man say that it was going to be chilly outside, so the blond goes outside with a bowl and a spoon. kinda cheesy, don't yah think?? ^.^

cheese is great melted on Chili

gaaawd theres always one int there

lols.... funny....

haha gud one :-)

good ones :D


Q- why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A- because it said `concentrate`.... :P

amazing ha!

Cute had me rolling.

ok, one last....A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.<br />
<br />
He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a large, blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blond jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?" The ventriloquist looks on in amazement.<br />
<br />
"It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community," she continued,<br />
"and of reaching my full potential as a person because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."<br />
<br />
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize. The blonde interjects, "You stay out of this, mister, I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!"

ha ha i like that one