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Daily Joke 10-31-2006

I start with a 'safe' joke about a blonde girl... (he thats me ;-) )


A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"

linda linda 21-25, F 37 Responses Oct 31, 2006

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lol. Got to be thankful for blondes to make smile and laugh! :)

Lol

Hi Linda... you are no 'blonde' - that was a clever one :)

That was hilarious......love it!

Love it:)

very good:)

lol very nice

Very nice! X-)

LOL i get it

hahaha so true

I liked it!!

That was so funny! I love it!

omg ... thats too funny :)

LOL this is cute

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. <br />
<br />
"Well, you can paint my porch," he said. <br />
<br />
The blond, after looking about, responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. <br />
<br />
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realise that the porch goes all around the house?" <br />
<br />
The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it. Do you think she's dumb?" <br />
<br />
"No. I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the dumb blonde joke emails we've been receiving." <br />
<br />
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. <br />
<br />
"You've finished already?" the husband asked. <br />
<br />
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." <br />
<br />
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her. <br />
<br />
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus!"

Haa haa thats a good one

Thanks for the smile.

Oh my!

So wait.....No chilly then? Man! I was looking forward to some free food. *lol*

LOL

so funny it made me laugh out loud

Pick me! pick me! ok ok<br />
A blond opened a door.<br />
HAHAHAHAHAHA<br />
its funny cus they're to stupid to figure out the mechanics of doors.<br />
HAHAHAHAHAHA

How do you get a blond on the roof???? You tell her drinks are on the house....<br />
<br />
What does a blond call Cheerio's???? Donut seeds....<br />
<br />
How do you know a blond's been using the computer???? There's white out on the screen....<br />
<br />
How does a blond turn the light on after sex???? Opens the car door....<br />
<br />
How do you kill a blond???? Put a mirror at the bottom of a swimming pool.....<br />
Put spikes in her shoulder pads.....Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a tub.....

lolz

omglol!

Blonde goes to hair dresser for hair cut . says to hairdreeser can you cut my hair and you must leave my head phones on. The hairdressers says ofcourse. S0 she gets ahair cut but she goes to sleeep and the hairdressers is tempted to remove the head phones, but keeps his word, and finishes the hair cut, and wakes the blonde who is happy with the result.<br />
<br />
About i month later the blonde returns for another hair cut with the same request, please donot removw head phones. Again the hairdresser says he will not, She gose to sleep and the hair dresser removes the head phones to cut her hair will save a hugh amount of time.<br />
<br />
The hairdresser finishes and looks at the blonde and she is dead he panics and calls emeregency departsments, while waiting he thought he had better put head phones back on the Blonde and he listens to the phones and they are saying "Breath in Breath out":

LMAO....That one really got me.... :D

Did you hear about the blonde that... <br />
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.<br />
<br />
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"<br />
<br />
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.<br />
<br />
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".<br />
<br />
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.<br />
<br />
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms. xD

Brunette:When I grow up, ILL GO TO MARS<br />
Brown:When I grow up, ILL GO TO VENUS<br />
Blondie:When I grow up ILL GO TO THE SUN<br />
Brunette:But you will burn!<br />
Blondie:Dont be stupid, Ill go at night!

hi..sounds good Your appreciated....God bless you....:)

^.^ my turn!! my turn!!!<br />
<br />
A blond turns on the television and flips to the news channel. she hears the weather man say that it was going to be chilly outside, so the blond goes outside with a bowl and a spoon. kinda cheesy, don't yah think?? ^.^

cheese is great melted on Chili

gaaawd theres always one int there

lols.... funny....