Things Not to Say During Childbirth....

-- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.

-- Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?

-- I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.

-- If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.

-- That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?

-- When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.

-- You don't need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.

-- This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.

-- Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?

-- Stop your swearing and just breathe.

-- Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! HEE HEE HOO HOO. You're not using the right words.

-- Your stomach still looks like there's another one in there.
stephanie19 stephanie19
18-21, F
7 Responses Nov 28, 2006

lmao. Sure glad my husband kept quiet during both of our children's birth but it didn't stop me from warning him that he would never touch me again :)

I STILL THINK THIS IS HILARIOUS

very funny, and very "truthy"

HA

hi..sounds good Your appreciated....God bless you....:)

You forgot 1<br />
<br />
-OMG WTH is that!

Or as I heard the 2 birthing nurses comment in whispers between my stirruped knees: This is gonna be rough; man, we got a tight ONE here! I would've been bragging if that comment had come from my hubby! But... not the nurses!!