Pirate Tales

A young pirate walks into an inn for a drink and sees an old pirate with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and a patch on one eye. He sits beside the old pirate and says, "From the looks of you, you've got quite some tales to tell!"

"Aye, that I have." replies the old pirate.

"Tell me how you came to lose your leg and wind up with that peg."

"Well, there was a terrible storm at sea that nearly capsized me ship. As I slid across the deck a shark came out of a wave and bit my leg clean off at the knee! I've had this peg leg ever since."

The young pirate winced. "And how did you come to lose your hand?" asked the young pirate.

"Well, me Bucko, another ship attacked ours and they boarded us and it came to a terrible sword fight. While I was fighting, a sword came out of nowhere and lopped my hand clean off! I've had this hook ever since."

The young pirate winced again. "And that patch on your eye... Surely there's a story there."

"Aye, there surely is! I was looking toward the sky and a bird flying overhead unleashed his load right in my eye!"

"And you lost the eye??" asked the confused young pirate.

"It was my first day with the hook."