When Ralph Died

Ralph came home drunk one night slid into bed beside his sleeping wife and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the pearly gates where St. Peter said, “You died in your sleep Ralph.” Ralph was stunned. “I'm dead? No I cant be, I've got too much to live for, send me back!”
St. Peter said, “I’m sorry but there's only one way you can go back and that is as a chicken.”
Ralph was devastated but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.
The next thing he knew he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past, “So you're the new hen Huh? How’s your first day here?”
“Not bad,” replied Ralph the hen, “But I have this strange feeling inside like I am going to explode!
”You're ovulating,” explained the rooster. “Don’t tell me you've never laid an egg before?”
”Never!” Ralph replied.
”Well just relax and let it happen,” says the rooster, “Its no big deal!”
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.
He soon laid another egg. His joy was overwhelming!

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout......”Dangit, Ralph! Wake up. You're pooping in the bed!”
CarlaW CarlaW
61-65, F
9 Responses Jul 31, 2012

Ha ha ha I have a group of people I respond to via email. We search to find jokes all over the internet to out-do the next.
I have recently consorted to finding inspirational videos.

good one


LMAO this was funny

LOL great one

And I used to have pet Chickens as a young girl. <br />
One hen was as friendly to me as a cat. She loved to be cuddled.

Cuddle a chicken?? Hmmmph. Heard it all now. I bet she never made it to the Soup pot eh?

Definitely not. She was a full bred Cornish Game. I held her as a chick and she became my favorite. In the end she went missing. I assume she was taken by an opossum. Penny was always my favorite.

Poor Ralph.

Rating this is somewhat of a strain. :)

pff-f-ft LOL!