How To Lose Weight, For You Guys


A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program..

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous,

athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up..

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning,

beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program

'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone... 'This is our most rigorous program.'

'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'

He lost 63 pounds that week.

hellimus hellimus
26-30, M
51 Responses Sep 16, 2012

hee hee hee


LOL! :)

I saw this one *******..I swear....haha.

Omigosh, I'm dying...

I did not see that coming ... LOL for the ages.


Omg lol

LOLOLOL:)good joke


This is awesome!

You have to know how to quit while you're ahead....

Lesson so after a good shaped but in-your-age-range woman. She may hopely WANT you to catch her by the end of the run.

Totally hilarious!


hilarious i love it

Too funny!
I wonder what the program is for females in need of loosing weight?

******* good one


Very funny. TY for sharing.

.That's good


Heard this about 10 years ago. Still funny, I suppose.

lol hilarious

Have you heard the one where the pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt?


So cute!

Tell us more!

Great joke/story man

Good joke.

That just made my life! XD


Thanks for a good laugh.


hehehehehe loved it


Great one...

a hell of a joke... :)

lmao thats hilarious :)

gosh there wasnt much left of him after that.

Awesome :-)


Thank you everybody for enjoying this so much. If I only remembered where I got it from, I could give credit where credit is due.




Run Run Run..... this was too funny ; )

Dammit lol don't ask for much next time hahahaha much from anything could kill you lol

Hhahaha.... this is so funny :)))))

Hahaahahahahaa!! There's one I've not heard before! Thanks for the belly laugh! :D

Didn't see that coming!