60 Ways To Die In School!!!!

When I was in middle school, I created this list as a result of severe boredum. I posted it on facebook and created a group titled "60 ways to DIE in school!!". The group is still up on there, for those of you wanting to join it. BTW, since this list was created by prepubescent kids (mostly) it contains a lot of really, really lame jokes :P But here it is, ladies and gentlemen!

While in school, a student's life is in great danger. Death can be caused:
1. When a student sits on his compass during
math class
2. When a student trips on his own feet during PE
3. When a student smells his teacher's breath and suffocates.
4. When someone gets glued to a chair and starves to death.
5. When a student walks in to a wall and explodes.
6. When a student eats expired nutrition break food and gets food poisoning.
7. When an elementary student touches an electrical socket and get electrocuted.
8. When a student walks on a wet floor and falls head first and bleeds to death.
9. When a student smell's Rahil's or his art teacher's feet.
10. When a student walks into a super bouncy teacher and bounces out of the universe.
11. When a student looks in the mirror and dies of shock or heart attack.
12. When a student accidentally paper cuts his wrists real deep.
13. When a student puts his hand on the paper cutter and due to gravity the handle of the paper cutter falls and slices the students hand off.
14. When a student gets attacked by flying pieces of chalk in math class.
15. When a student gets attacked by poisonous spit in art class.
16. When a student gets really carried away in English class and starts believing in fairy tales and starts thinking he can fly and jumps out the window.
17. When a student leans back in his chair and the chair falls causing him to fall head first on the floor and bleed to death.
18. When a student accidentally drowns in a puddle of his own tears due to bully's picking on him.
19. When the rest of the school drowns in the student (mentioned above)'s tears.
20. When a fat student does too many sit ups and explodes in PE class
21. When a book shelf falls on your head.
We MUST do something about this growing crisis. Schools need to be a safer place for our kids to get educated in, not die. This is a very serious issue and it needs to be resolved as soon as possible.

Added by others
22. When a student looks at his teachers face!!
23. When a student smells his teachers armpits!!
24. When a student picks up a protractor and accidentally slits his wrists in math class.
25. When a student gets attacked by flying books during English class!!
26. when a certain teacher shares way too much information causing you to have night mares that scare you to death
27. when the chemistry class room blows up due to wrongly mixed chemicals
28. when a teacher has constant boners that can cause blindness.
29. When teachers throw flying razor sharp protractors at you which can give u cuts all over your body
30. eating bad cafeteria food may cause food poisoning even death!
31. when a student is so bored in maths their heart just stops
32. when a student gets so hungry waiting for lunch they decide to eat 100 pencil sharpener blades
33. When a student does a poisonous fart suffocating and killing many!!
34. When a student accidentally falls in the toilet bowl while taking a ****
35. when a student literally kicks someone's *** and gets molested by barney.
36. when a student thinks too much about math problem till his brain bursts away
37. when a student and his friend playfully punch each other in science class and one of them ends up with a bloody nose
38. when a student jumps of a swing and hits the pole...with his pole.
39. when a student gets hit on the head with a puck in PE
40. when a student's TI 84 plus silver edition calculator comes to life and eats everyone!!!!
41. when somebody gets locked in the science lab, drinks toxic chemicals and dies
41. corporal punishment!!
42. when your math teacher turns out to be a secret alien in disguise and bakes delicious "cookies" which are actually preserved llama turds!!
43. When teachers don't clean the port racks and a spider bites you
44. When a mean PE teacher makes all the larger kids run a extra lap and a stampede occurs
45. when a pie container hits the student head real hard during a food fight at the cafeteria
46. When a student freezes to death because their school is too cheap to use the heater.
47. When a student accidentally drinks the drink that clearly says DO NOT DRINK & they get burnt  to death :)
48. when a student gets hit in the head with a discus at athletics
49. when a student walks in to the restroom and gets deceased
50. when a student slips and trips on random turds lying in the hallway
51. when all the toilet rolls stuck to the ceiling falls and crushes everyone.
52. when you sneak into the canteen and get a knife and stab yourself
53. stampede in the hallway, dude, never forget it
54. when a student's brain explodes because a Pshyco math teacher (my math teacher) assigns half of the text book for homework and says "it will be EASY"
55. the reason they don't have microwaves at school: teachers might stick kids in them.
56. A student dies of over-exhaustion in PE
57. What if a student gets so frustrated in maths class that he stabs himself with a pen!!!
58. when they eat their maths book cos they hate maths and choke
59. when the teacher says the HW is a peace of cake and a hungry student eats it and dies.
60. when a student gets attacked by unknown life species in bio
righteouschica righteouschica
22-25, F
Sep 18, 2012