Walmart Shopper

After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ...... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive, woman walked into the store along with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Walmart."
I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?" The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Don't be ******* stupid. Of course they aren't twins. The oldest one is 9 and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind or just stupid?"

I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone ****** you twice.

Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Walmart."

My Supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
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110 Responses Sep 23, 2012

good one!


Hi deleted 26-30. Best laugh I've had all day. That's really funny, not because she was a woman or unattractive but because it really bothers me when I see people yelling obscenities at their kids in public. I feel like yelling obscenities back at them but of course I have no right to interfere. It is so frustrating when you see something that is clearly and obviously wrong but you know that you are powerless to do anything about it. We all have problems to put up with, that is no excuse for humiliating children in public. (Actually, I find it hard to believe someone wanted to **** her at all). A supermart greeter with a sense of humor would REALLY ENHANCE my shopping experience. Have a good day.

Ha! Ha! That's hilarious, but after hearing about her character, the way she was yelling obscenities at her two children, and badmouthing you, I couldn't believe someone would even have knocked her up once. : D

Brilliant answer


Being retired with Social Security as my only income, I spend much too much time in Walmart because it's all I can afford. I think this is one of the funniest stories I've ever heard!! :-D

LOL! :)



a good answer


Thats too funny :)

ha ha that's funny

good answer!

Made my day!

Hehehehe nice comeback

LOL!!!!! Couldn't stop laughing

LMAO ! That was good !

Still laughing.

Too funny...Hahaha

I like it

hehehe see all kinds at wally world.

this was on 9gag you reposter



I loved that!!! Sounds like walter from Jeff Dunham

pretty funny! XD

i meant... pretty haha

Your joke is funny and your responses are too. Atta boy.

Thatwas fun!

...four thumbs up....

mine! hahaha! XD

looking for 2 more thumbs. hehehe

Well Done :))

As many times as I have gone to Walmart.... At the wrong one at the wrong time. Hilarious. =)

Wish you were the greeter at my Walmart.

LOL awesome! If I had witnessed this conversation, I would have asked your manager to give you a raise on your first day=)

Lol great answer! Stupid person shouldn't have fired him

That was an awesome answer -- such a shame you lost your job over that I think they should have banded her from the store instead. LOL BTW - 51-55 years old is not senior, you are still young and your dreams can still come true. Don't give up hope, look at the brighter side of things. I loved your story. I will remember that one if I ever work in customer service again.

WOW - you are a tiger aren't you?


That's to fkin funny, and good for you.

If this is true, it's a great story! I don't know how companies expect you to be cordial in the face of such ugliness!

You are a person of integrity.

Terrific response to the situation!

You sir,are awesome! I wish I was that quick witted. xD

That was funny!
She deserved it though, for being so rude.

Well done!

that was a good one. nice story,

Great story!

Haha; good one! And I'll bet that ***** didn't learn a thing from it!!

Hahahah I lol'd at that one and if true, great work, some ***** need a good serve.

Lol. Loved it! That made my day.

Thanks for the good laugh. I needed that.

nothing short of brilliant!

As someone who works at Walmart, I can honestly say that you did what I wish I had the balls to do; and that's stand up to an unruly customer. You just made my day. Haha.

Oh my god are you kidding me? You know what you are better off without that job I am sure there are many other stores who would be happy to have you work for them. Sometimes it's not worth being nice. I am so sorry this happened to you and I hope you find another job soon..I would like to be friends with you so if you like please message me...I hope you have a good night.....

This story brought the biggest smile on my face. I love it when rude people get told off.

Too funny haha.

That was a great resonse to an ignorant *****. Your 'supervisor' was just a ball-less dirtbag himself, who just 'wishes' he ( or she ) had the balls to say what what you did. You did "Good".

That was great! Thanks for the laugh. I love that answer. She deserved that.


Lol, i worked at walmart for three years while i was going to school. U just don't know how many times i wante to tell some of the people off like that!!!! u just made my day :)

Must say this put a smile on my face!

Love it!! :)

Good for you, nobody should be treated that way!

my wifes description. Only that i wasn't going to make another baby with her...hah ha ha haaaa....

ROTFL LMAO. I always wanted to say that to them at Wal-mart.

I mean i drive thinking about this and laugh out loud

Do you have a picture of him? I think faerie just found a new idol!

Well, him, you... the "I" in your story... oh fine... I'll settle with your avi. ;)

Ohhh... a sideline... you have time in spite of the laundry, the dishes, the cooking?

Lol! Settled then. Faerie's got a new idol. ;)

Ha...! There you are, Mary... my goddd! It's like looking for a needle in haystack with this comment thread! ... but yes, all he needs now is a logo on those underpants and he can zoom away to more greetings at any store.

1 More Response

Too funny!

I hate parents like that who just scream at their kids in the store for no reason at all. If I have a problem with my daughter (age 3 1/2) in the store we step aside and calmly handle it. She gets strikes for bad behavior, for every 3 it's a minute in the corner when we get home. I refuse to handle that **** in public. Thanks for sharing. Your story reminded me of the kind of mom I NEVER want to be.

ha ha ha thats funny!

Super answer you gave her. It reminds me; I once worked for a TV dish cie receiving a call from a customer complaining his not getting any signal. He goes “I’m a red neck, is Starchoice services reserved for *******” He has no idea I’m black and so I gave him back his signal with his ok all is working. As he hung up, I cut off all the service with a bug only a tech could take care of via an appointment

Working with public is harsh

That was funny, you brightened my day!!!

You Sir are my new hero.

Oh no. Don't sell yourself short.

I worked at Wal Mart several years and know what you mean. I was a Customer Service Manager and too a lot of compliants.

Just part of the job.

hahaha thats so funny! Good for you! that woman needs a smack up side the head!

You rock I wouldn't want to work in a job that services immoral bargain obsessed trailer queens either. They deserve an island and should be sterilized.

lol, love it!

Lol that's mean

LOL HA HA HA HA HA That was awesome! I would hire you in a minute. Keep up the good work (somewhere else!) Take it easy man....:)

You are badash! XD *cheer*

so you look at kids and think about the procedure involved in making them

You're my hero. XD

Yes, but you're my hero. xD Hero's are made of flesh and blood, too. :-)


i'da been him in dat instance. lol

What a *****!

I applaud you for saying that!

That was hilarious! Did that really happen?

Don't blame you one bit. What a sick woman!

Wow~ She deserved that though.

Unique response, although you will need to ask forgiveness of our heavenly Father...
Remember, we are to love everyone, even if they are obnoxious and profane.

That was a fair question & reasonable deduction.