Help Desk Exchange

Subject: Help Desk

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable

programs such as CFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, NBL 3.0 and NFL 3.6. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?


Reply from the Technical Side:

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try to enter the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5, but remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, do not install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

P.S. Boyfriend 5.0 was also shareware and ran on many other platforms. Husband 1.0 is a single installation package and provides security options unavailable under Boyfriend 5.0.
DinahMoeHumm DinahMoeHumm
41-45, F
15 Responses Nov 15, 2012

I think my ex, the broom pilot overused some parts of that program and definitely ran the boyfriend 5.0 at the same time for thirty four years . But it's funny

LMHO Great :)

i ripped this joke off the net almost 9 years ago. ( when XP was the dominant O.S) so glad to see it's still floating around making people laugh. Kudos for making me reminisce.

Dear Madam, We understand your concern. However, your spouse also installed an upgrade from Girlfriend 10.0 to Wife 1.0 and suddenly went from a fantastic and imaginative sex life under Girlfriend 10.0 to Sex-once-a-month with Wife 1.0. This change has thrown his entire operating system out of whack, which almost certainly spread to and is affecting your Husband 1.0 App like a virus.

We recommend you install Lingerie V.i and Penthouse Variations 2.0. Together these will absolutely rid you of the virus and provide you with the virus-free Happy Marriage Synchronized OS running on both of your appliances. it :-)

Awesome post, Dinah! I applaud the Tech Support for enlightenment in my software!

So glad you enjoyed. :-) (Hope you are feeling better, btw...)

It's a very funny story.
I think the head shakin' shook me real good because I don't even feel bad about it. Lol. For some unexplained reason, I can be funny about the whole thing.

That is good, but still be careful....concussions can be nasty as slow to careful that you are not too sensitive to light...that can sometimes create a lot of nausea....and it becomes a rather unpleasant feedback loop in the wrong direction...

Oh, I so know what that feels! I'm conscious about it, but I don't want it controlling what I do, my life. There are only moments of the Jack Nicholson face.

As long as the space between those moments is increasing, all is well..... Enjoy your holiday season..... :-) Best to Brill.. :-)

2 More Responses

hahaha this is awesome! Thanks for posting!

So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading my post. :-)

Thank you, Dinah. Best holiday wishes for you, too.

OMG! So cute. I love it.

I agree. :-)

That was superb!, lol

I am pleased that you enjoyed it.

That made me laugh... :) AWESOME!

A laugh is always a good thing. :-)

This was hilarous thanks for the laugh

You are most welcome.

Yes, but it is a sad commentary on marriage too. Male people need to be taught that dating should start when you get married. That is how men stay married.

I think that both the men and the women need to keep alive the love and magic that is present when dating-love does change, there is a decrease in the newness, but it deepens when it is real, and honesty grows and trust grows- both parties are participants, not just the man, and not just the woman.

I totally agree. However, I think men need a little more instruction in this area from other men. The mentality that they only need to woo a woman before marrying is more prevalent in men. They think once they have her, the chase is over, when in reality, it has just begun.

Hi vibrante. Either that or don't move in together. Many such relationships break up but it is easier to deal with when you do not have to sell your house and car.

Very funny and yet so true.

I know what you mean......

Loved it! Thanks for sharing, Dinah!

I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading it. :-)

Excellent! lol