Deciphering The Sexes

What a woman says, what she really means...

~ I need = I want
~We need = I want
~It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
~Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
~We need to talk = I need to complain
~Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
~I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
~You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
~You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
~I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS
~Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
~This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
~I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...
~I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
~I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
~Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
~How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate
~I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
~Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
~You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
~Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
~Yes = No
~No = No
~Maybe = No
~I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
~I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
~Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
~Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
~I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!

What a man says, what he really means...

~I'm hungry = I'm hungry
~I'm tired = I'm tired
~Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
~Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
~Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
~Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
~Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
~You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
~What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now?
~You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
~Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
~Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!
~I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go!

NotHisBabydoll NotHisBabydoll
46-50, F
7 Responses Nov 21, 2012

LOL hahaha all of that is so true!

Lot of truth here,

this the best ever, sadly its 30 years too late for me,
and you cant teach an old dog new tricks.

and its my anniversary today, mummy help, chewing fingernails.
hope she likes the wheelbarrow i bought her.

Ha that's funny. Only a few are true in my case and my boyfriends. I usually use the 'don't you love me' card when I want sex not money lol. And my boyfriend is obsessed with the movies, I'd rather just give him sex it's cheaper. Though the baby one is spot on lmao

Finally someone cracked the code! Lol

Took long enough, right???

It sure did, but even when this help, we men forget everything, even find it hard to walk and talk as soon as a sexy woman comes in the room! 😍

Lol at the whats wrong one haha

haha...yeah...i like that one too... had me in stitches! Great post sweetie. xoxo

hehe...glad you liked it....

I'm thinking I should print it and post in on my fridge for my man.....he could use a good translator sometimes ;) haha.