Some Tommy Cooper Jokes

I find Tommy Cooper hilarious. He was also a magician.

Some info about Tommy Cooper:


A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms"

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "No, you're right the steaks are too high." (In the UK, "quid" is slang for Pound)

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before

Answer phone message "....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, straight up, no bull!"

A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature eja culation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants." (In the UK we call underwear "pants").

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

vector8 vector8
51-55, F
1 Response Dec 6, 2012

Those made me chuckle.