A Few Christmas One-liners

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: "Anyone want to buy a present?"

Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered "No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!"

I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!

No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!

The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.

Q: Do you know why Santa dosen't have any children ??? A: he only comes once a year and thats down a chimney ...

Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

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6 Responses Dec 6, 2012

hahaha . . . loved it . . . thank you . . . 8D

You're so funny!

Thanks for the christmassy fun! lol

Once again a thoroughly enjoyable collection of jokes. Thanks for sharing :)

OMFG!!! I sooo needed this today.... perfect...so glad you are here.... :-)

and yeah- I figured you are synced...;-P Just trying to be nice, empathetic, supportive...just like EP tells me be.....

Oh jeez.....Your totally dangerous for the place I work...I was just reading these out loud and the whole place is cracking right up!! The guys LOVE the mistletoe belt idea!! :D You totally get my official *STANDING OVATION* for fun posts!!