A Few Christmas One-linersWhy is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: "Anyone want to buy a present?"
Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered "No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!"
I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!
No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!
The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
Q: Do you know why Santa dosen't have any children ??? A: he only comes once a year and thats down a chimney ...
Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.