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And This Is A Good One.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone......

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.


Author Unknown.
Serenitree Serenitree 70+, F 10 Responses Dec 25, 2012

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*Sighs* I actually miss having a wiener wagged at me. How sad is that!

Ah, sweetie....I can give you the names of a few on here who would love to wag their weenies for you. I got one yesterday. I blocked him of course, but I'll unblock him long enough to aim him in your direction, if you like.

LMAO! I was thinking more along the lines of a very specific member!

Well, now I'm jealous.

Yes : I like reading confessions and stories find people's writings fascinating .. Lol

Thanks looking forward to reading the rest now .. Have a great day ok :-) x.

You have time to read? I'm so busy answering questions, that I rarely think to see what people are writing. When I first started on EP, I made a minimum of 20 story comments a day, now I make maybe 10 a week.

Great story :-) x

It made me laugh when I read it, so I wanted to share.

:)

haha!! thanks for sharing, had a laugh tonight. :D

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Thanks for the laugh

You got a weeny wagger in YOUR home? LOL

Lol...Thats just what I needed.

I'm glad you got a smile from it. Feel free to share.

Funny; There was a trade group that did a study a number of years ago concerning bathroom designs/ layouts for new houses. What they found was that men will get out of the shower to pee and then get back in. Where women were more likely to pee in the shower. The responses showed that women were concerned about the wet floors and the messes it would make vs just staying in the shower.

That thought was never included in the men's replies. They just got out of the shower not thinking about the wet floor or making a mess.

I know. I never get out of the shower to pee, when I'm home. I figure it's my shower, I am the only one here, I'm the one who cleans it...my choice. On the other hand, I am a cleaning lady, and I happen to know that the men whose shower stalls I clean DO indeed pee in the shower. I know, because I am the one who cleans up after them. Also, when I was working as a cleaning lady at a gym, there was pee in almost every shower stall in the mens change room and rarely in the women's. I don't know about studies that have been done, but in my little corner of the world, these are the results based on experience, not Q&As given by the men and women in the studies. :o) Been doing this job for 34 years, professionally and another 16 before that just as a housewife.

Well I always found that study to be funny. It was not results or answers that they were expecting but a off shoot of it.
From your experience I would have to say that you have more knowledge of it then I do. So I will go with that on this subject. lol

And what about you? Get out, or let it go in the shower?

Ahhh. I tend to use the shower. It is all the same drain system. Plus I am also the one that cleans the bathroom. I also dry myself off in the shower rather then get out and dry off in the middle of the bathroom. Less of a mess that way.

I think the ones who have to clean their own shower should have that choice. Also the ones who pay the cleaning lady. The only ones I object to using the shower as a toilet, are the ones who are using public showers, like at gyms and public pools.

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This is hysterical---thank you. xD

Thanks. I like it too. Share it. I'm sure you know people who would like it, too.