A Few Dirty Jokes

The cute young student in pigtails blurts out to her teacher, “KISS ME!! KISS ME!!!”
He says “Kiss you? I shouldn’t even be ******* you!”

Norma and Betty are having tea.
Norma says, “I’m thinking of having my breasts enhanced.”
Betty days, “Oh really? I’m thinking of having my ******* bleached.”
Norma says, “Funny… I thought your husband was already blonde”

What’s the worst thing about giving Willie Nelson a blow job?
Realizing it’s not Willie Nelson.

What does an old lady taste like?

Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of the new sex position called rodeo. His friend says no, what is it?
Well you mount your wife from the back, reach around and cup her breasts. Then say “Boy, those are almost as nice as your sisters”.
Then see if you can hold on for 8 seconds.

While sitting at a bar, an old man leans over to a young woman and says “I like you, you remind me of my little toe!”
“Oh yeah?” she says with a smile “Why? Because I’m cute and petite?”
“Nah,” he replies “’cause I’ll probably end up banging you on my coffee table later”

What do you get when you finger bang a fortune teller on her period?
Your palms red for free!

Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, “Your thing doesn’t have any skin on it!”.
“I’ve been circumcised.”, the other replied.
“What’s that mean?”
“It means they cut the skin off the end.”
“How old were you when it was cut off?”
“My mom said I was two days old.”
“Did it hurt?”, the kid asked inquiringly.
“You bet it hurt, I didn’t walk for a year!”

Whats the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t jelly it in her ***.

A husband says to his wife, “make me happy and sad at the same time.”
So she says, “your **** is bigger than your brother’s.”

How do you tell if a girl is ticklish?
Give her a test-tickle!
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5 Responses Jan 18, 2013

LOL...great collection:)

Loved this collection Ronan, particularly loved the cowboy one... Yee Har, lol...


LOL...Im exhausted! O.o

nicely done my good fellow *lifts wine glass*