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"why Don't You Please Shut Up??"

"A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
The driver's wife is in the passenger seat kitting. Not looking up from her knitting she says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
She smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
"Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket," the driver responds.
His wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And, as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
(Wait for it ..... )

"Only when he's been drinking, officer.""

valobasa4ever valobasa4ever 31-35, F 79 Responses Jan 20, 2013

Your Response


Love it 😊

I would sell my wife to a middle east sex ring.

LMFAO... this was great ...

so funny

Thank You (-: for reading....

Love to see that happening for real

That was the limit. This is a joke that anyone can enjoy no matter what age.

ROFL!!! :)))


LOL! :)

very good

Thank You (-:



This is really a good one! :))) it!

hahaha....good joke!


Welcome... (-:

This is a ripper. thank you.

That wife has style.

This sounds like something I would do when I'm older.

Best wishes...




Wouldn't she be charged to for allowing him to drive intoxicated?

nah the officer would probably have appreciated it so much he'd let her go!

Wives.....don't you just love 'em?

:-) ...




This is definitely one of the better jokes on EP..... However for someone it must have been a true story...

My imagination on how the story could have gone further... :-)

*Writes out fourth ticket*
"So tell me Ma'am... anything else I should know about your husband?"

5 minutes later...

*The officer slams the driver against the side of car and handcuffs him*

great imagination Power ...
Hats off.. (:

Well, it was sort of going in that direction. :-)

Yowza!!! I guess payback is a witch with a capital B!!!! Too funny.

haha .. . who needs enemies when you have a blabbering wife.

o mha goh this is high-larious u r 1 clever cookie ;]


HAHAHA Awesome...goodone :D

Thank you ... :))

Is she blond?!

LoL... its secret ... ;-))