Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

"why Don't You Please Shut Up??"



"A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
The driver's wife is in the passenger seat kitting. Not looking up from her knitting she says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
She smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
"Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket," the driver responds.
His wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And, as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
(Wait for it ..... )

"Only when he's been drinking, officer.""

valobasa4ever valobasa4ever 36-40, F 81 Responses Jan 20, 2013

Your Response

Cancel

The wife must be angry with her husband.

Agreed 😀

good job XD

real gr8 one

Love it 😊

I would sell my wife to a middle east sex ring.

LMFAO... this was great ...

omg
wow
so funny

Thank You (-: for reading....

Love to see that happening for real

That was the limit. This is a joke that anyone can enjoy no matter what age.

ROFL!!! :)))

XD

LOL! :)

very good

Thank You (-:

Regards

roflmao

This is really a good one! :)))

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...love it!

hahaha....good joke!

ChipperchicThanksYouForTheLAughHAHa

Welcome... (-:

This is a ripper. thank you.

That wife has style.

This sounds like something I would do when I'm older.

Best wishes...

(hugs)

Thanks,

LMAO

Wouldn't she be charged to for allowing him to drive intoxicated?

nah the officer would probably have appreciated it so much he'd let her go!

Wives.....don't you just love 'em?

:-) ...

HAHAHAHAHA :)

;-))

Funny

This is definitely one of the better jokes on EP..... However for someone it must have been a true story...

My imagination on how the story could have gone further... :-)

*Writes out fourth ticket*
"So tell me Ma'am... anything else I should know about your husband?"

5 minutes later...

*The officer slams the driver against the side of car and handcuffs him*

great imagination Power ...
Hats off.. (:

Well, it was sort of going in that direction. :-)

Yowza!!! I guess payback is a witch with a capital B!!!! Too funny.

haha .. . who needs enemies when you have a blabbering wife.

o mha goh this is high-larious u r 1 clever cookie ;]

;-))

HAHAHA Awesome...goodone :D

Thank you ... :))

Is she blond?!

LoL... its secret ... ;-))

No that was way to funny hehehe .

:))

wait a minute...this is not so funny....how do you know my wife?!?

R u dialing 911 ..!!!

Good one!

Thank You .. :)

Beechara husband :))))

LoL.. ;-)))

U know Hindi ..!!! :-D

yup , hindi marathi gujrati english and a little spanish :)

wow .. just wow ...

hehe not a wow thing .... :P its casual :)

No... its not ...
trust me.. :-))
Its really a tough one...

2 More Responses

LMAO.

;-)))

Ahahaha nice

Thank YOU ;-))

:-)

:-))

I think I'd be getting a divorce when I got out of jail lol

LOL..

nice said ..


xoxoxo

I'd never drink in the first place, I'm a christian so I don't believe in drinking alcohol plus I see what it did to my uncle, he's 1 or 2 years sober but still. If I got married in the first place I would love her enough to never leave he

Brilliant

Haha

:))

thank you i need a good laugh

very nice joke.thanks to give me reason to laugh more and more

You're welcome... :-))

LOL.....very funny

lol oh god i almost died laughing from this too funny

Lmao

Wow that really did make my lol, that was great.

This was GREAT

Lol I like this one :D

Thanks I needed a good laugh

XD XD

Lol - good story - well written.

Thank You...

Cute:)

Lol

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

hahaha... wonderful..

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

:) laughing....

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

So Good! laugh my face off

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

Such perfection. XD

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

Such perfection. XD

You must seize the window of opportunity! LOL

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

paybacks are hell... ;)

I like that - very funny

Soo soo funny!! (and so awkward too) =P

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

haha thats great!

That's just wrong. lol!

This is hilarious! Please post more!

That's perfect..............................

Good one!

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
The driver's wife is in the passenger seat kitting. Not looking up from her knitting she says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
She smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
"Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket," the driver responds.
His wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And, as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
(Wait for it ..... )

"Only when he's been drinking, officer.""

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHHAAHA HILARIOUS!

Literally made me laugh out loud. My coworkers are gonna love hearing that one tomorrow!!!! Thanks for sharing!

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

very funny , thanks for posting it

ROFL... I didn't see that coming.... great one !

Quality. Like it.

Lol that's too funny!

;-)))

Love this!!!!

Im really glad.. :-))

xoxoxo

Excellent!

Thank You... :-))

lolz

Wow awesome :)

Thank YOU... :-))

:)