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"why Don't You Please Shut Up??"



"A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
The driver's wife is in the passenger seat kitting. Not looking up from her knitting she says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
She smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
"Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket," the driver responds.
His wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And, as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
(Wait for it ..... )

"Only when he's been drinking, officer.""

valobasa4ever valobasa4ever 31-35, F 75 Responses Jan 20, 2013

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I think I'd be getting a divorce when I got out of jail lol

LOL..

nice said ..


xoxoxo

I'd never drink in the first place, I'm a christian so I don't believe in drinking alcohol plus I see what it did to my uncle, he's 1 or 2 years sober but still. If I got married in the first place I would love her enough to never leave he

Brilliant

Haha

:))

thank you i need a good laugh

very nice joke.thanks to give me reason to laugh more and more

You're welcome... :-))

LOL.....very funny

lol oh god i almost died laughing from this too funny

Lmao

Wow that really did make my lol, that was great.

This was GREAT

Lol I like this one :D

Thanks I needed a good laugh

XD XD

Lol - good story - well written.

Thank You...

Cute:)

Lol

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

hahaha... wonderful..

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

:) laughing....

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

So Good! laugh my face off

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

Such perfection. XD

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

Such perfection. XD

lol

You must seize the window of opportunity! LOL

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

paybacks are hell... ;)

I like that - very funny

Quite a sweet revenge!
:)
:)

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

Soo soo funny!! (and so awkward too) =P

Thank YOu..

xoxoxo

haha thats great!

That's just wrong. lol!