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"why Don't You Please Shut Up??"

"A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
The driver's wife is in the passenger seat kitting. Not looking up from her knitting she says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
She smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
"Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket," the driver responds.
His wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And, as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
(Wait for it ..... )

"Only when he's been drinking, officer.""

valobasa4ever valobasa4ever 31-35, F 79 Responses Jan 20, 2013

Your Response


No that was way to funny hehehe .


wait a minute...this is not so do you know my wife?!?

R u dialing 911 ..!!!

He was bangin her when you went to jail the last time she blabbed lol

Good one!

Thank You .. :)

Beechara husband :))))

LoL.. ;-)))

U know Hindi ..!!! :-D

yup , hindi marathi gujrati english and a little spanish :)

wow .. just wow ...

hehe not a wow thing .... :P its casual :)

No... its not ...
trust me.. :-))
Its really a tough one...

2 More Responses



Ahahaha nice

Thank YOU ;-))



I think I'd be getting a divorce when I got out of jail lol


nice said ..


I'd never drink in the first place, I'm a christian so I don't believe in drinking alcohol plus I see what it did to my uncle, he's 1 or 2 years sober but still. If I got married in the first place I would love her enough to never leave he

Aw you got it right little man.




thank you i need a good laugh

very nice joke.thanks to give me reason to laugh more and more

You're welcome... :-))

LOL.....very funny

lol oh god i almost died laughing from this too funny


Wow that really did make my lol, that was great.

This was GREAT

Lol I like this one :D

Thanks I needed a good laugh


Lol - good story - well written.

Thank You...



Thank YOu..


hahaha... wonderful..

Thank YOu..


:) laughing....

Thank YOu..


So Good! laugh my face off

Thank YOu..


Such perfection. XD

Thank YOu..


Such perfection. XD

You must seize the window of opportunity! LOL

Thank YOu..


paybacks are hell... ;)