Politically Incorrect

A widower was devoted to his only daughter and naturally was concerned when she decided not only to get married but to marry a Greek. Blushing furiously; he sat her down to discuss the facts of life, but she brushed him aside, telling him she knew all about those things and not to worry.
"Well, just one thing," the father implored. "If he asks you to turn over in bed, you don't have to."
The young couple got married and were extremely happy until about eight months had gone by. Embracing his wife in bed, the Greek said "Why don't you roll over, dearest?"
"Oh, no, you don't!" she said. "My father said if I don't want to, I don't have to."
"Whatsamatter," he said, "don't you wanna get pregnant?"

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Israel Moses, living in New York, married a Black woman. One day their boy came home from school very disturbed.
"What's the matter, son?", asked Israel.
"Am I a Black or a Jew?"
"What's the problem?", asked his father, "You can be both".
"No," said his son, "you see, a boy at school has got a radio he's selling for five dollars, and I don't know whether to bargain with him or to mug him!"

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Priest is sitting in his confessional, hears an old man's voice on the other side of the screen. Old man says, "Father, I'm seventy-nine years old, I've been married to the same woman for fifty years, always faithful. Then yesterday I made mad, passionate love with a pair of eighteen-year-old twins".
Priest asks, "When was the last time you went to confession?"
Old man says, "Never - I'm Jewish".
Priest is puzzled. "Then why did you come here today to tell me this?"
Old man says, "Oy, I'm telling everybody!".

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A Jew and a Chinaman were in a pub together. The Jew brought up the subject of Pearl Harbor, reprimanding the Chinaman for the disgraceful role his countrymen had played. The Chinaman protested vehemently, pointing out that the raid had been made by the Japanese, and that China was in no way to blame.
"Japanese, Chinese, they're all the same to me " retorted the Jew.
Pretty soon the Chinese fellow started talking about the tragic sinking of the Titanic, asking the Jewish guy if he didn't feel some degree of personal responsibility about it.
"Hey, wait a minute!" protested the Jew: "The Jews didn't have anything to do with the sinking of the Titanic - it was sunk by an iceberg!"
"Iceberg, Goldberg," said the Chinaman, "they're all the same to me."

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An Irishman got a job as a lumberjack, but try as he might, he couldn't meet his quota of fifty trees a day. By chance, he saw an advertisement in a shop window for chain-saws "guaranteed to fell sixty trees a day".
So he bought one, but the best he could manage was twenty trees a day. He took it back to the shop and complained that there must be something wrong with it.
"Let me look at it," said the man in the shop and, taking the chain-saw, he switched it on.
"Heavens above!" exclaimed the Irishman, covering his ears with his hands, "What's that noise?"

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Did you hear about the man who was half-Polish and half-Jewish?
He made himself an offer he couldn't understand.

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Have you ever seen the Polish sex manual?:
1) In.
2) Out.
3) Repeat if necessary.

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This Black guy walks into a pub with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"Wow!" says the barman, "That really is something. Where'd you get it?".
"Africa" says the parrot.