Reclaim Norway!

Sweden wants Norway back!
Until then, we are satisfied with telling Norway-stories [tradition in Sweden to mock the Norwegians and vice versa; sometimes the Finnish too] (Mutual degradation):

What's smart person in Norway called?
 - A tourist

How do you sink a Norwegian submarine?
- You swim down to it, and knock on the door
How do you sink it again (presuming it has been rebuilt but with the same crew):
- You swim down to it and knock on the door. The Norwegian opens and says; We are not falling for that again!
Corollary: How do you sin a Finnish submarine?
- You swim down to it and knock. The Finnish opens and says; We are not as stupid as the Norwegians...

A common problem in the Norwegian school is that no student wanted to write "11" on the blackboard: Reason: THey didn't know which digit "1" should be written first.

What's the difference between Norway and Outer Space?
- At least In the Outer Space there is some chance to find intelligent life

The world's most un-true story begins with: 
- once upon a time there was a smart Norwegian...

Why do the Norwegians carry translucent lunch-boxes:
- To know whether they are going to work or going home from work...

How do the Norwegians afford a DVD-player?
They sell their TV

A Norwegian girl tells the priest at the confession booth that she's pregnant... The priest asks:
Are you sure it is YOUR baby?

A Norwegian to another:
If you can guess how many apples I've got in this bag, you'll get all four of them.

 

EDIT: MORE STUFF:

Why don't Norwegians eat canned fruit?
-Cause they can't get their head into the can

How many Norwegians are needed to wash a car?
-Two, one that holds the sponge still, and one that drives the car back and forth,

What's the difference between a Norwegian and a computer?
- You only need to give instructions to the computer once.

How do you know that Tarzan was Norwegian?
- Well, he was the King of the apes.

How do Norwegians make fake 10-crown notes? [Money]
- They cross out two zeroes of the 1000-crown note

What is a Norwegian called if she has two braincells?
- Pregnant

Why do the Norwegians live in round houses?
- They don't want dog-poo at the corners.

Why do Norwegians bike with a soft cap instead of a helmet?
- Because in an experiment they performed, the helmet cracked but the soft cap was intact.

What do you get if you cut a rectangular paper in half?
- A Norwegian puzzle

What is the world's thinnest book about?
- Intillegant Nörwegians [misspelled also]

Why do Norwegians always walk in the middle of the street?
- Because they are afraid of the WILD flowers near the sidewalk.

How do you sink a Swedish submarine?
- Let a Norwegian crew maneuver it!

50 Norwegians and One Swedish guy holds on to a rope with their hands. The rope is only stable enough for 50 people. Down below are crocodiles.
The Suede says: Well, because I'm the only Swedish person here, and you are all Norwegians, I guess I should let go, and let you survive.
All the Norwegians start applauding... [Get it?]

What happens if you press 1+1 onto a Norwegian calculator?
- It says: Please stand by... working on it

Why are Norwegians always crawling in the stores?
- They are looking for low prices

Do you know how to save a drowning Norwegian?
- No
- GOOD!

myspip myspip
18-21, M
3 Responses Jul 14, 2007

Ha, that's funny... My mom is part Swede, and favors this one: "What do you call a Swede with his brain removed?" A Norwegian...

I love these because everyone has a group they make fun of and you can just switch it to whatever. When I was in Germany I discovered they made fun of the Dutch, so I asked the Dutch who they made fun of and it was people in a Northern part of the Netherlands. Everyone has a fall guy. Here in Canada we make fun of Newfies (from Newfoundland) or Americans.

LOL, this reminds about the grudge romanians hold for hungarians. And there is a joke that I love so dearly (note: Bulă and Ghiuri are both male names. Bulă = romanian guy who appears a lot in our jokes. Ghiuri = average hungarian male from jokes): Bulă goes home one day and tells his father "Dad, I want to marry Ghiuri!". His father looks at him and says "You can't, he's hungarian." -- get it? :P