I Love Jokes And Riddles
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....so, I took her to a Petrol station.....
and that's how the fight started....
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After retiring, I went to the Benefits Office to sort out my pension.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's licence
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left
my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,
'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she
processed my Pension application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience
at the Benefits Office office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your trousers. You might
have got disability, too'
and that's how the fight started....
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
and that's how the fight started....
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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside
the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little
things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM
NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And that's how the fight started.....
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first.
'I'll have the rump steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight started.....
