Anger Management

Anger Management  (someone sent me this - its not really my story.....)

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a
phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I
please speak with Robyn Carter?"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my
ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on
me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude .

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I
had accidentally transposed the last two digits.After hanging up with
her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy
answered the phone, I yelled "You're an *******!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it
in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had
a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an *******!" It
always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '*******'
calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,this
is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're
familiar with our Caller ID Program?"He yelled "NO!" and slammed down
the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
*******!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in
his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later,
right after calling the first ******* (I had is number on speed dial,) I
thought that I'd better call the BMW *******, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"He said, "Yes, it
is" I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I
live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch, and the car's
parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked,
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening
after five."

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

He said, "Yes?"

I said, "Don, you're an *******!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two ******** to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called ******* #1. He said, "Hello." I
said, "You're an *******!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you
still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said,
"Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He
said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "*******, I live at 34 Oaktree
Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in
front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better
start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared,
*******," and hung up.

Then I called ******* #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, *******," He
yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He
exclaimed, "I'll kick your ***," I answered, "Well, *******, here's your
chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill
my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
Blvd. in Fairfax.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just
in time to watch two ******** beating the crap out of each other in
front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a
news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work
thatweirdromanguy thatweirdromanguy
46-50, M
14 Responses Aug 1, 2007

I should try this.....

This had be me in stiches. Wow what super stuff. Nice one this.

Wow this is a popular joke, I posted it back in 2009, the same exact joke, I had gotten from my uncle and grandma, so I copied it down and posted it in this same exact group, looks like I'm not the only one who posted it here, it sure is funny, and we both loved it so much enough to coincidentally post it on here!

ha ha ha ha ha. holy ****!!!!! THIS IS FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy ****!!!! made my day!!!

Wonderful ........ thank you!!!!

Thank You. I feel much better now.

OMG THIS IS AMAZING dude whose story is this cause they are my freakin idle for life now OMG THAT CHEERED ME UP!!!!! that is awesome i now have plans but the only problem is everyone i kno has caller ID

That's good!! I admire the people with a courage to manage such a thing! :)))

LOL.. i think this would hav wrked for me. but before i get to the ******* part, id hang up, start pacing and sayin "oh my gosh oh my gosh", call my friends and tell them wat i was about to do, get confused cause half of em will say "then wat r u doin talkin to me, call back and finish your sentence!", while others will say "are you crazy?!"...<br />
<br />
then what I would actually do is put on a serious face, brows together, the don't mess wit me look (practice in front of the mirror if i have to) then dial the dang number. once the person picks up, "YOU ARE AN... amazin boss. got the report done. c u at wrk 2morrow. bye"

very very clever, lmao, well done from england

That's brilliant! Glad I read it. :)

I was just fixing to ask you the same, Luci!;P Mine's 1-800- GO-2-H3LL! heheehehehe.

That is the best thing I've read in a long time!!! Hey Em whats your phone number?LOL :)

ROFLMAO! Oh, if ONLY I was brave enough! I've got my list started though! It might come down to looking like a Sat. Night WWF Match!;)