New Chemical Elements Discovered!


Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: Don't even go there!!
Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical Properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.


Element Name: MAN
Symbol: Xy
Atomic Weight: 180 +/- 50
Physical Properties: Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find pure sample.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (element: child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

Josie06 Josie06
56-60, F
2 Responses Feb 15, 2009

Ok, I'll go with that because it's funny. Normally I rail against this creating new elements stuff. Hewlett Packard had an ad that declared "Hu", the 'human element'. So I found out that some highschool and college students thought that this was a newly discovered chemical element. I was appalled.<br />
I do technical writing, so I spend a lot of time trying to set the record straight. Please don't trash the periodic table.<br />
And no more computer viruses! It is not a virus. It's just a little program. Malicious code is ok.

Hahahaaaa, good summaries!