Guide to Determine

Guide to Determine
If You Are in a Jerry Bruckheimer Movie.

BY PETER W. SUDERMAN

- - - -

1. Your girlfriend is a waitress, but could be a model.

2. A bus explodes.

3. A psychopathic millionaire devises an elaborate plan to murder you or someone you know ...

4. ... and you feel compelled to stop it.

5. You are Nicholas Cage.

6. Despite a total lack of training, you are able to shoot and fight with the accuracy and ability of a special-forces soldier.

7. You are a cop or scientist, but could be a model.

8. A building explodes.

9.. After capturing you, a terrorist with a foreign accent reveals the details of his plot in a long-winded speech.

10. The light always hits your face in just the right way.

11. You are in a shootout on the streets of a major city ...

12. ... and it involves helicopters and rocket launchers.

13. Everyone around you is a model.

14. Teams of well-trained henchmen are shooting at you, but they all miss.

15. You are engaged in a knockdown-dragout brawl with the leader of a major crime organization ...

16. ... in slow motion.

17. Everything that has not yet exploded explodes.

18. You save the world.

19. Your name is Jack.

 

dasmuggler dasmuggler
36-40, M
3 Responses Feb 17, 2009

good one :)

It fits his movies to the letter

Models, explosions, untrained heroes, that is a great summary and funny!!