Redneck Security Company


  1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work
  2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
  3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
  4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
 'Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.   P S - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.'   INSTALLATION COMPLETE!!!!   Redneck Security Company
dasmuggler dasmuggler
36-40, M
7 Responses Feb 23, 2009

I love this !! Yeah - I come from a family of rednecks --- I have all those names in our family - oh and and uncle Jeb

Hahaha, Levin, you crack me up brother!!

How come y'all took the note from my door? Geeze - ain't got no privacy anymore. Them pit bulls ain't really inside the house - they're outside, looking at you while you read this note. Have a good'un.

You do have to make sure that the note you post on the door is written in redneck spelling!

neat :)

I love this!! I'm no redneck, but hell if I wouldn't rather have this kind of security system!!

Not a bad system! Hahahahaaaaaaaaa