Kids Are Quick

Some of these have been offered up here, others have not, but overall, they are quite amusing:

 

 

Kids Are Quick 
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TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find  North America.

MARIA:         Here it is. 
TEACHER:   Correct. Now class, who discovered  America ? 
CLASS:         Maria. 
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 
JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables. 
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' 
GLENN:         K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' 
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong 
GLENN:         Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 
(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? 
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O. 
TEACHER:  What are you talking about? 
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O. 
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TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. 
WINNIE:       Me! 
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TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty? 
GLEN:           Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. 
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TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  ' 
MILLIE:           I is.. 
TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' 
MILLIE:           All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'      
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TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? 
LOUIS:          Because George still had the axe in his hand.    
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? 
SIMON:        No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. 
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TEACHER:    Clyde  , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the20same as your brother's. Did you copy his? 
CLYDE :       No, sir. It's the same dog. 
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 TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? 
HAROLD:   A teacher 
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PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH! 
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!! 

nudeinva nudeinva
51-55, M
7 Responses Mar 4, 2009

these are great, had me busting out laughing, thanks

they are a classic, no matter whether u may have heard it before or not

i am now Louis's #1 fan. lol

I hope she has not lived any of them! lol

Yeah, he reminds me of Pig Pen in Peanuts!

very very funny-thankyou

I like Glen :)