Blonde Jokes

Since I'm blond... I don't understand these, who wants to explain them to me ;-)

 

A blonde and her boyfriend are sitting in a hot tub. The blonde says to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"

A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just don't remember who with.     What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.     A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.     Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger: Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!     A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender: Brunette: "I'll have a B and C." Bartender:"What is a B and C?". Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke." Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T." Bartender: "What's a G and T?" Redhead: "Gin and tonic." Blonde: "I'll have a 15." Bartender: "What's a 15?" Blonde: "7 and 7"     Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children. The 1st brunette says, "I just know I'm going to have a girl, because I conceived while I was on my back". The 2nd brunette says, "Mine's going to be a boy, because I was on top during conception". The blonde says, "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!"  
linda linda
26-30, F
6 Responses Feb 14, 2007

A blond and a brunette are talking. The brunette says "I was having so much trouble with my boyfriend....he had really GROSS DANDRUFF!" The blonde asaks "Oh my goodness, what did you do??" The brunette sheepishly responds, "Oh, I just gave him some Head & Shoulders." Blonde asks, "How do you give shoulders??"

I love them

Luv it

See now this is fun! You can make blonde jokes because you are blonde and I can make newfie jokes because I am a newfie!

Why do blondes like tilt-up steering wheels?

More headroom..

*SPOILERS* Since OP Linda said she didn't get the jokes. <br />
<br />
1. The boyfriend is fingering the blonde in that situation.<br />
2. Basic blonde joke, although, could be taken to mean blondes are also promiscuous. <br />
3. Her husband is looking for the man who fathered the second baby, since a set of twins is two children. The husband is the dumb one in that joke for thinking each individual baby would have a different father. <br />
4. Sod is grass that comes in sheets, dirt on one side & grass on the other. The blondes were laying it with the grass down, which would kill it. <br />
5. The top is down on the convertible, so they could just reach over the window or climb inside; they don't need the coat hanger to open the car. <br />
6. 15 is not a drink, and 7+7=14, not 15. It's two kinds of stupid. <br />
7. There's an urban myth that states that during conception, if the woman is on top, the child will be male, if she's on bottom the child will be female (it's not true). But the blonde thinks she's going to have a puppy because she was in the doggy style position during conception.

Do you really think she needs them explaining? What colour is your hair?

If you look at the beginning of the post she states, "Since I'm blond... I don't understand these, who wants to explain them to me ;-)"

Right, but I don't believe her. She is just testing.