Afterlife Accidents...

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.

St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer - you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and
the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers,

"Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

aftermath aftermath
61-65, F
7 Responses Jul 20, 2009

freed<br />
<br />
that is sick. i just love it.<br />
<br />
milady<br />
<br />
i am so sorry for playing in your backyard. i actually came here to say that i had no plans to install AC in hell. it is scary to know that satan has designs on getting engineers. <br />
<br />

mz<br />
<br />
so hilarious<br />
<br />

Masterzune - Magnificent!

...Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.<br />
<br />
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."<br />
<br />
"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.<br />
<br />
As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"<br />
<br />
"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.<br />
<br />
"The bottle has a hole in it!"<br />
<br />
"What about the PC?"<br />
<br />
"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.<br />
<br />
"And it's missing three keys,"<br />
<br />
"Which three?"<br />
<br />
"Control, Alt and Delete."

LMAO!!! thanks for this.

*****giggles****and grins

Two Sodium atoms are walking down the street and one says "I lost an electron". The other says "RU sure?". The first one says "I'm positive".