WHY You Never Question a Drunk...

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Rig ht. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status..

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct . But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.

RachelR RachelR
26-30, F
20 Responses Jul 21, 2009

That's great!

Haha, I still get a kick outta this

THAT was totally unexpected!! I barked out in laughter so bad I think I scared a co-worker! :O But THANKS for the hee-haw!! :D

Everyone beautiful for sure.

Hey, that's what I was saying.

Well I'm glad I clicked on this thread.. !!! <br />
keep them coming..

lol. You may just have me beat with the jokes.

How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?<br />
He forgot to wrap his whopper.

LOL, Now that was funny, shoot all the tasteless jokes you want, that's my style. Very funny!

Well, it's obvious it's not about you, but it is a hilarious joke. Did you hear the one about the guy that won the lottery? He ran home jumping up and down and screaming to his wife "Honey pack your bags!! I just won the lottery!". She replied "Yay!! Where are we going?". To which he replied "I don't care where you go, just get out!". And yes, I have more jokes with even less taste, hehe. thanks for sharing yours. :-)

your welcome.

Why thank you.

i know it's not about you, it is funny though.

I'll leave it for the audience to decide :)

that was funny! hope it's not a true story.

unexpected .LOL

I do what I have to do to stay afloat, or just make people laugh, whatever comes first.

Haha... And she can riff on her own jokes.

Seems to me this guy forgot his beer goggles, lol.