On The Seventh Day, He Rested

     God created the universe and everything in it in five days.  On the sixth day He created Man.  On the seventh day, He rested.

     When God created Adam, He took him around to see all the animals in the garden.  He told Adam to name everything and that he was the highest on the food chain.  God said He would be back to see how Adam was doing.

     When God came back a few eons later, He went looking for Adam.  He finally found him under a bush, looking very dejected.  God said to Adam, "What is wrong, Adam?"   Adam said, "Lord, I went all over the place and gave every animal and plant a name.  Then, I walked around again and surveyed my kingdom.  Now what, Lord?   Lord, I am so bored.  What should I do now?

     God, feeling sorry for Adam, said, "Come with Me, Adam."  He took Adam to a tree in the middle of the garden and bonked him on the head, knocking him out.  God then took a rib out of Adam's chest and made a woman to share the garden with him.  When Adam woke up, God introduced Eve to him and told him to take her around and show her what was happening.  He said he would come back later to see what was happening.

     When God came back a few eons later, He went looking for Adam.  He finally found him under a bush, looking very dejected.  God said to Adam, "What is wrong, Adam?"   Adam said, "Lord, I took her all around and showed her everything.  She wanted to change most of the names, so we fought a lot.  We separated and I am here by myself.  Lord, Lord, I am so bored." 

        God, feeling sorry for Adam, said, "Come with Me, Adam."  He took Adam back to the tree, sat him down, and explained the wonderful world of sex to him.  God told Adam to teach the sex idea to Eve and He would come back later and see what was going on with them.

     When God came back a few eons later, He went looking for Adam.  But he couldn't find him in any of the usual places.  God finally found Adam sitting on a rock about fifty yards from a beautiful stream.  Adam looked very pleased.  God asked how things were going.  Adam said, "Lord, Lord.  Things couldn't be better.  Ever since You told me about that sex thing and had me explain it to Eve, things couldn't be finer than they are right now!"  God said, "What do you mean, Adam?"  Adam said,  "Well, when we wake up in the morning, we have sex.  About midmorning, we have sex again.  Then after we wake up from our afternoon nap, we usually have sex again.  And, of course, we have sex in the evening before we go to sleep.  Then in the morning, it starts all over again.  It is wonderful, Lord."  So God asked Adam where Eve was.  Adam said, " Oh, Lord, we just had sex and Eve is down at the stream washing up."

     And God said, "Crap!  I'll never get that smell out of those fish!"   

 

mewold mewold
66-70, M
18 Responses Feb 19, 2010

I know that God is a Male, because if He was a Female, we men would all be born with our **** on our chin. lol

GT, I agree. God has a sense of humor and some mischieviousness about Him. Otherwise, why would there be a mosquito that feeds only on man?

Good one...LOL...I definitely believe that God has a sense of humor, just look around....most of the time you can help but laugh.

I am also a Christian, but if God doesn't have a good sense of humor, I am in "BIG" trouble. lol

I wasn't sure where you were going with this as I am a committed Christian.... but I have to say I laughed way out loud !!!!! thanks for sharing

I'd share anything with you, sweetheart.

Th's why I love to eat fish.............

so that's why they smell so tasty. hmmmm

Thanks, bellas31. I'm glad you like it. Actually, it is one of my favorites.

LMAO ...Good one

Yea, pumpkin, I love that ending. lol

Thank you, Mother, it was almost too long to put here.

hellcatt, thank you. I hope god has a sense of humor. But I suspect he does.

good one

Thanks, LV. The ending is what makes the joke. Hell,, you knew that..........

LOL! I love the ending, very surprising

Thanks, Lonely, I am glad you liked it. It is a little long.

Ha ha ha!! Thanks for sharing!! :)