Hell Toupee

I’m in charge of observing hair, even if it isn’t there
I don’t understand all that I see, But that’s what I do, I do it for free
If someone’s hair is very straight they won’t be happy of their fate
They’ll want to curl it, comb it and twirl it
tease and toss and certainly whirl it
If it is curly and out of control, the cost of straighteners will take its toll
What if it falls out, how insane, don’t worry much, there’s always Rogaine
How ‘bout those men who have more in the back?
Combing it forward, it looks out of wack
And then I’ve seen an incredible sight
Men shaving there heads, doesn’t seem right
Color is something else in all of this mess
Makes me crazy I confess
If it’s blond die it brown, if it’s black die it pink
All those chemicals may make your brain shrink
The more I think about it, I think it’s a blunder
Makes no sense, It would make Stevie Wonder