I, too, have felt a deep/somewhat inappropriate relationship with some hyper-intelligent and dark being since I was 3 or 4.
To the point that I've felt like I've been searching for him/her my entire life. Thinking I'm going to find that personality and flavor in a human form.
I noticed we each of us feel a little disappointed "it" has bed others.
That each of us feels we are good people and that this being isn't inherently evil. Just capable of doing some very bad things for the sake of justice and light.
That each of us feels safe when we think about it.
There are two primary possibilities.
There were alot of movies that romanticized the fallen angel stereotype in the 80's, such as Legend or Labyrinth. We grew up where the best fantasy/sci-fi media had some damn sexy and complex villains.
Or, this archetype exists and tends to nurture females with our distinct personality type for whatever reason.
Before the naysayers jump in, though, I gotta point something out.
I've seen and felt nasty, ugly, awful things in my life. Things I would go so far to label as evil, i.e. pointlessly destructive. People who skin helpless cats, the mother who traps their child in well-meaning guilt, those in love with their self-destructive tendencies who unconsciously try to suck the life out of everyone around them in the form of pity....
And this entity is certainly not one of them.