I Agree With ElianTotemI feel much like ElianTotem ("Making Love Is The Most Meaningful Thing On This Earth", 17 June 2011) whose "story", or better whose "philosophy of love" is too serious, too beautiful and too deep for this blog, to tell the truth. As he puts it, "Of course, you say, he is a guy. Of course he wants to sleep with every girl he sees. True (to an extent), but not because of the reasons you think. You see, I can only enjoy sex if the person with me is enjoying it. For me, an ****** (org*sm) is an ****** (org*sm), nothing special. But for women, my God, the things I have seen and experienced!" (Me too, but mainly with my wife, unfortunately incomparably less with other women, in spite of my best efforts.) And so on, his whole beautiful text. – A friend of mine once put it more simply: "We men don't make love for our own poor little short o*gasm but for the woman's sake."
I always was, and in my old age I still am, an erotomane, not in the sense of "a person with excessive sexual desire", since the biological desire is in my case rather normal, but with excessive (?) sexual interest, be it merely theoretical. This interest includes what ElianTotem and my friend said.
Once a good-humoured girl asked me teasingly after our first "sexual intercourse": "So you marked off my name on your checklist [of girls to f***], didn't you?" I answered "I did", since it was not entirely false. Now it was obvious that this didn't bother her at all, since she started the affair in order to get something from me: something almost purely erotic. As it turned out later, she had made love before with four men and never reached an org*sm, and she supposed that with me she would. She proved right: she clim*xed almost immediately after the first penetration and a lot after, perhaps 13 or more times in a few hours, not counting handiworked (clitoris) org*sms. I don't know if I was proud when she told me that I was the first man who satisfied her, possibly I was; but the main thing is that I was happy pleasuring her. I don't want to say that I am an angel or some sexual saint. I don't really want to sleep with every girl I see: the girl need not be beautiful but must be attractive at least to some, even small, extent. If she is not, I don't try to make her happy. I am sorry that my "sexual altruism" is paradoxically selfish but I can't help it; I suppose ElianTotem's sexual altruism is not different. I confess once I refused a not even ugly girl who asked me to do it to her. In another case I did want to sleep with a poor unf*cked woman, a friend of my wife, with her (ie my wife's) consent; the girl seemed attractive but when she got undressed it turned out she was not enough and unfortunately for her I proved totally impotent. (I desperately tried to think of my wife's body to have an erection but I couldn’t. Sadly I went home and when I saw my wife fully dressed, ironing clothes, I was immediately rock hard – think it was after 20 years of marriage. – My wife didn't feel enough solidarity with her friend and fellow woman to feel sorry for her, on the contrary she was pleased, which was not nice of her I think.)
I wonder how to understand ElianTotem's words "I want every woman on the planet to feel loved, feel special, and experience the ultimate in human emotion.": I think he would be happy to achieve this alone but since that is impossible he would be also happy if every woman on the planet would be successfully loved by a different man. I feel this way, theoretically at least, and practically with the abovementioned limitations.
Unfortunately things don't work out so easily. I foolishly love my wife, soul and body, and the more we are together (whole decades already) the more passionately we love each other; I wish for each and every woman as well as for her partner(s) that she were as sensuous and as happy in bed and out of it as my wife is with me and as I am with her. For me all that doesn't interfere with all I wrote above; but for her it does. Once she told me: "I fell in love with Mr. So & So." I was happy and suggested she should go with him to a two or three week trip and feel in heaven – and come back after and stay with me, even without a passionate love. I don't feel she is my exclusive possession and I am (would be) ready to share her – my treasury – with others whom she likes. She can't understand that and would be happier if I were jealous instead, just like she was jealous each time I had an affair. For some time she was so unhappy (yes, together with her happiness!) that she considered breaking with me but luckily for me and for her she never was able to…
In bed she is incredible. Almost the whole of her body is one single erogenous zone, even the back or the shoulders, so much so that she has org*sms from the slightest touche no matter where, indeed even without any touch: it's enough that I only tell her what "I am doing" to her right now ("now I am touching your breast" and the like). (Each time I or she was abroad for a few weeks we used to "make love" by phone: she had real org*sms without touching herself. I know this sounds – and is – funny. So much the better; we also laugh a lot together...) Before actual penetration she has countless org*sms, many of them long, for an hour or more. The word "Org*sm" in her case designates scores of various sensations of real clim*xe, all very different in kind and intensity. Eg she feels her nipple org*sms on her nipple (yes!) and in her sex organ too (not on her clitoris only). She likes that and doesn't urge me to penetrate, as did some other women immediately after I first touched their breasts or their genitals. – All that is the result of what ElianTotem calls "scientific method", ie exploration, and years of practice. Eg at the beginning she always wanted me to stop moving when she reached an org*sm; once I had the idea not to stop but to go on moving against her will. She had her first long org*sm, she yelled and furiously shook her head to both sides, as if it were painful. After she got more and more accustomed. The method worked with three other women too (as to long org*sm), albeit my affairs never lasted long enough to exercise and work out. But even if they had lasted I am sure it wouldn't have been possible to achieve what I achieved with my dear wife who is a marvel of love and sensuality. I wonder if there are many such women in the world, I mean with respect to sensuality. What do you think?
(A few times she did sleep with other men before or during our marriage but to my regret they were not able to notice, let alone to appreciate, her fantastic erotic qualities. One stupid guy even told her: "You are nymphomaniac!")
Fischl 66-70, M 1 Response 1 Sep 1, 2011