I Invented the Map

Not many people know this, but I was Ferdinand Magellan's cartographer. He was drunk most of the time, and he would talk to his compass. I just laid low, as he had a bad temper, and just did my job...thanklessly...

deleted deleted
26-30
5 Responses Mar 18, 2009

Oh yeah, well I dated Ferd for a few years and he never mentioned anything about a speechless cartographer...but then he was always 3 sheets to the wind....sometimes 4, 7, depended on where the moon aligned with Venus.

ROTFLMAO!!!!

I was Captain Cook's cartographer. You think your labors went unappreciated? Try working for a condescending, know-it-all ***** with an English accent.<br />
<br />
I got my revenge though. One day, we were taking shoreleave on the Sandwich Islands and I told the chief the Captain was coming ashore the following day to honor him with a Boston Steamer.<br />
<br />
The chief was intrigued by this 'Boston Steamer' and pleaded with me to explain what it was, going so far as to offer me a pig, a bushel of pineapples, and a night with his least attractive daughter. Needless to say, I told the chief what a Boston Steamer was and, as we all know, when he came ashore the following morning, Captain Cook got his just desserts.<br />
<br />
And as our longboat sailed away from the onrushing natives, I shouted out to Captain Cook as the natives overcame him, "Tell ME where to put a compass rose on a map, will ye? Take THAT, ya arsehole!

No questions. Just let me say...WOW...DD

Well as long as you love maps