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A Feminist Expresses Gratitude....

All of you who have gotten to know me, know that I am a feminist, consider myself an advocate for women's rights and am critical of those whom embrace sexism. I have been accused on a number of occasions of hating men, of misandry and of plain old ignorance.

The truth really is that I adore and love men. I love, admire and respect the many men whom exude courage, loyalty and intense protective love.
Very recently a disturbed young man walked into a theatre and proceeded to shoot dozens of movie goers. He murdered at least a dozen and injured 70.
What is perhaps the most amazing and profoundly touching about this tragedy are the 3 young men who gave their own lives in an gallant and heroic fashion. These 3 heroes sacrificed their own lives, diving in front of their girlfriends and taking the bullets meant for the women. The protective love and courage they exhibited is nothing short of stunning. These men are heroes. These are men. Honour, courage, love. This is manhood to me. I respect, admire and appreciate these men and all men whom exude these qualities and many do.
Lets talk about these men and forget about the sick loser. Lets give these men credit and choose to ignore the idiot killer.

On a different tangent, but still related I would like to personally pay homage to the 2 men whom showed me and my mother kindness.
Growing up impoverished, the child of a single parent wasn't easy but 2 events stand out for me. The first was at a small diner and I was around 8, we had finished our meal and when my mother went to pay we were informed that the tab had been paid by a gentleman. I was astounded at the kindness and generosity shown by this stranger.
The 2nd was a family man, a neighbour who 1 year at christmas spent at least 300 $ on groceries and toys for my mother and I.
I was very touched by this beautiful show of kindness.

To all those wonderful, kind, generous men thank you.
gumshoejane2 gumshoejane2 36-40, F 13 Responses Jul 22, 2012

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we need to remember these kind acts & wonderful gestures,these are truly class acts of giving. Thank you for the story

When I think of feminists I think of pioneers like Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinhem

I truely enjoyed this post.

add me please

My problem is with the whole protection thing. Women are not children to be protected or treated as if they can't handle themselves in society. Being female does not make you inferior and require that you need a man to protect you. I also have a problem with the word "masculinity" and the idea that a person should be defined by their gender. I am a person not merely a man I will not be defined by my gender , by an accident of birth.

With some people the instinct to protect comes as natural as breathing.Male or female.

The instinct to protect others is common to socal animals. What I don't agree with is the idea that women need men's protection or that we have a duty to do anything because of our sex.

I dont think that was the point of the story.No one sad that a man should take the bullet.I however like to think I would for my loved ones.

She did say "this is manhood to me" so she seems to think that men are the ones with the most courage. She seems to think that some basic nature compells us to heroic acts. I don't really think men are braver or better able to deal with the dangers of life. I do hope that I would be capable of facing a bullet, were there no other way. But, I don't feel I am more capable of doing so because of my sex. I don't equate such acts with "manhood" or associated with being male.

Ok I think this is a great post,from a good person.So out of respect for Gumshoejane2,I am done here.

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I agree with you. When my wife and I 1 first got married 40 years ago she was in nursing school. After our wedding she wanted to drop out and let me take care of her. I told her she was not going to give up on her dream because of me. She went back and received her BSN in nursing. She has had a great career. We had two sons and a daughter. I was harder on my daughter because I knew the odds were more against her. I did not want her to depend on a man that could walk out on her when things got bad. Well, today she is a nurse after she swore she never go to college even in her senior year of high school. By the way she married a great guy and its been over 10 ago. I didn't want my family on welfare if I died before my family was grown. That is why I wanted my wife to finish. Now the worst has happen. No I not going to die but I have become disabled and no longer can work. Now my wife is caring for me which I never dreamed it could happen to me. So girls you got to be able to make it on your own. But if you can find a mate to share it with that's even better. But don't change your goal for anyone.

So very well said. . .Education has always been huge in my family. My own mom has a masters degree in psychiatric nursing and dad has one in Physics. Education has served them well and set a great example for their children and grandchildren. Dad has always been proud of my mom for her accomplishments. And I am proud of HIM!

I have 2 daughters both grown,one married and it worries Me that they both seem to think they have to have a man to get by.Ive tried to teach them that they need to be able to take care of them selves.This is one time I hope to never hear,"Dad,You were right".

While the actions of these men are heroic, and show the true nature of their spirits, I don't believe that society should discount the murderer. I believe that our society has a habit of breeding sociopaths, especially men, and that doesn't get nearly as much coverage as it should. Being in a generally patriarchal society, when the men become unstable, so do the women in response. The same would be true in the inverse in a matriarchal society. Regardless of women's rights and activism's efforts, unfortunately discrimination and objectification still has a vice grip on minorities and females. It seems that when the white man gets angry, everyone else pays for it. It's sad, but it seems to be the formula.

A lovely heartfelt post Jane, thanks for sharing, it's really touched me :o)

Thank you Robbo!

Thank you for pointing out the good men in the story. So many times the media gets caught up in the bad guy. I would love to see scholarships or something done to remember these men. The theater can name something after them. The town should put a plaque with their name on it.



I try to be generous and kind whenever possible. I have experienced the kindness of strangers many times. So I always try to behave decently and politely whenever possible.



That being said, my instincts in this situation would be to do whatever I could to kill this man in order to save the lives of others. There are certain things in my background that lead me to this.



Thanks for the post.

Thank you so much for your comment. :)

My brother and I said the same as your husband.

Yes that is what I mean. The last thing he expected was a counter attack.. When ambushed, attack the ambusher.

On the scholarships. We need to remember that more than 3 people died. I would like to see a book similar to "The Bridge of San Luis Rey" explaining the life of these people. However, I like you "Do IT" attitude by wanting to contact your mayor. Please keep me posted on the progress.

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This is a beautiful story. I love what you wrote, "I love, admire and respect the many men whom exude courage, loyalty and intense protective love."

And I could not agree with you more. Best wishes

Thank you so much sweet Hannah.

Kudos to you Jane for turning the focus of this tragedy not on the perpetrator, but on the real men who were in fact martyrs for all that a men can be. THIS is what I respect men for. For there courage, loyalty, and bravery. This is how all mankind CAN be by changing their values and focus toward those they love - their wives, children and family. May we as women acknowledge and encourage and THANK them for their good choices. Just as men need women, WE as women need men.

Thank you and I agree Heaven.

Beautiful ... And very much needed ... Isn't it sad that this mad killer will make a name for himself because of his destruction the best outcome would be if we chose to remember the heroes and left the villain to disappear .... Bravery comes in many packages but is always awe inspiring ...

Thank you Dente.

What an excellent post Jane!! Thanks for sharing!!

Thank you so much sweet anonimacy.