Can You Love More Than 1 Person At a Time ?

How many people honestly believe you can love more than 1 person at a time? I'm talking about a deep, genuine love and friendship that grows over the years.

I for one do think it is entirely possible to have this happen. Maybe you think going into the friendship it wont happen but as time goes on and the relationship develops feelings change.  Has anyone other than myself ever felt this way?

snowbunny1002 snowbunny1002 46-50, F 40 Responses Dec 15, 2007

Your Response


Hello: I am a "mostly" happily married man, who has been married almost 30 years, after dating for 4 years through High School, to the same woman. I do love her, and would NEVER do anything to hurt her. However, over the past 6-9 months or so, I have found that I have developed feelings for another woman who is half my age, so it seems very improbable that it can be "real", or that she could truly feel the same for me. I'm almost certain it is more of an infatuation, but I do feel miserable when I can't see or talk to her for extended periods of time, and I find myself wasting a lot of time thinking about her.

I can't swear it is "love", but it is the closest thing to it that I have felt since meeting and subsequently marrying my wife. My wife does know about her, which makes it more awkward, because she is jealous of the feelings I have for her, even though we are not as connected as a married couple as we once were, AND I have NEVER acted on any feelings with the other woman.

As I'm writing this, I feel like an idiot, and childish, and thinking that I should somehow just be able to get over it, and deal with it... but the problem is that I don't want to. I don't want anything to jeopardize my marriage, but at the same time, I don't want to "lose" the other woman from my life either.

So bottom line: I DO believe a person can love more than one person at a time, but I don't know how successful that can be... even if all parties are aware of the other, unless you all are accepting of a polyamory life-style. I wish you better success than I have managed to find myself, as I'm still trying to find ways to cope with these feelings and emotions.

Take care,
Lynn M.

I have experienced a deep love on many occasions with women. I married one of them but there were a couple before her and there have been more since. Each time I spend time to be me and open myself with a beautiful spirit who opens herself to me equally, and one in particular has found she loves me as deeply as her husband, the connection is forged and a lifetime love is created. The kind of love that knows no bounds or passage of time, even long stretches of absent contact. Meeting again the time and distance evaporates like the mist at sunrise, new experiences and insights shared, and resumption of bared passion and soul deep connections continue.

It happens. When someone really loves you, you may be surprised how far they will go to work with you on this to keep you.

I have loved more than one woman. I agree with you about love developing and growing over time. It takes months for me to fall in love. I survive by holding love for my wife (yes I am happily married for more than 20 years) above the other. It is a source of reget that the second love can never be as free, all encompassing and open ended as my first.

Of course you can


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Some people love easily others conditonally. I still love girls that I dated years ago but either they didn't feel the same or obstacles got in the way and we moved on. I realize that love takes 2 giving more than usually one can so if I was sharing my affection someone may feel left out even if I loved them equally it would be hard and someone would move on. I have personally love more than one at a time more than once but they usually are quite different and I enjoyed each of them in our own way.

Kita- Thanks so much for commenting. I know it can certainly be true :)

Beanow-agreed and that isn't always the best way for some.

explorer10k- I couldn't of said it any better :)

I do think this is possible. Speaking from a biological/evolutionary point of view humans are polygamous so the feelings will definitely flourish. However every single one of the people taking part in the relationship will have to feel the same way about it 100%. And that's rather unlikely.

reddog0820- You are correct, there are many different situations that occur in life. Just because one way works for some doesn't mean it works for others. I am merely stating my feelings in my post but I am certainly agreeing that there are many different ways and perspectives that work for all. :)

just because it is not for you does not mean it is not for everybody

viva la differance

it is definately true for both sexes

i share my girl physicaly with others she shares me

and the deep emotional love well ok that is just between us at the moment.

we trust and care and support each others feelings want and needs

but there was a time that there was another girl involved with us who we both loved and she loved us both.

physicaly emotionaly the whole rainbow of love

i am positive it has happened before what about true polygamous relationships it happens with both sexes

Artsy- No I believe in loving only 1 person in an intimate way and sharing everything with them. However I do believe you can love different people in different ways (friendship, family etc) very deeply. Perfectly clear :)

(I think my answer here was misunderstood, but that is ok, Let me clarify this;) Im talking about the love for another such as a brother, friend, or otherwise, not intimately, just to make myself clear, :)..I love only one Man , intimately and as a friend, but, I believ we agree that loving others in friendship, family is possible, that is exactly what I meant. Of course you can, meaningFRIENDSHIP;) or caring, but in love no, I only love one person, however there is a caring for others in life that is deep and abiding as a friendship, if you only mean a committed love and intimacy just so Im clear on this, only one for me just one has this heart...but its possible to care and love others in a friend way...or those family members you care bout and are there for. hope this clears up what is meant:)I do konw people I cannot speak for who love others from their past in friendship ways, and that is a good thing, family members especially, and so again, Intimately, I too love only one man. just one;)

That's very true facingmyfears. I looked on the date of this post and it was back in 2007... this happened long before that. But it was a lesson learned, :)

willreif/rubypoppy-I think that you can love more than one person at a time, however the degrees of love are varying. I have loved a friend only as a friend but I have also loved a friend that turned into a romantic relationship. I think you can love someone but you do have to draw the line if you are in a relationship and dont want to damage it. This is strictly my opinion .

I personally love more than one person, and feel incapable to stop this. I only go out with one person and intend to stay with them forever, however, my feelings for other girls won't change as I'm so close to them. Some people say it is not possible to love more than one person at a time, but I disagree. I think it is without a doubt possible, but it depends on the person in question.

Soleilbaby- you got that right...delicious and torn at times :)

It IS possible! But I agree with some of the other comments here that your Heart seems to only lie with one or the a time. And it seems to go back and forth for me....

Scotty-it can be a curse sometimes because of the Torture it can put you through...but Ohhhhh....those delicious feelings you get...are priceless!

Scotty- I didn't say it was easy...possible yes... easy no..LOL :)

I agree Kitten... :)

no definitly no that is not real you love only one person but not two or more i think you like other peaple but the reality is you love only one

no definitly no that is not real you love only one person but not two or more i think you like other peaple but the reality is you love only one

SantanaRex- you are nuts but un a wonderful way!!

Bobfrost- I love you too! And you are sooo right :)

Newdaydogep- I love your way of thinking :)

Sahira- I agree it is :)

Its is definitely possible. I have loved and do love more than one woman. Each of these women occupies a different place in my heart.

Re "if you truly "give" your heart to someone you count on them to care for it, and you can become vulnerable." As with all of my friends, I do committ to the long term care of the relationship my lovers and I build together.

I have no answer to add; I agree with Rex.

It's definitely possible.

I've had alot of time to think about this kind of stuff over the years. Lately things are becoming a lot clearer to me. Glad you don't think I am nuts b/c I really respect your opinion alot my friend :)

SantanaRex- beautifully written!! You are right on every point you make. Once you open up your heart to love, you should be able to count on them to care for it above anything else. The reward is certainly worth the risk!!

Amazing point of view my friend :)