I Just Want To Smoke WeedHello. :) This is probably going to veer into somewhat of a rant, due to the laws regarding this subject, and is by no means well-thought out or well written, but first I want to tell you why I love weed so much. No scientific studies, no statistics, no second-hand accounts. Just my own opinion and how it helps me.
I started smoking weed regularly in high school, approximately my junior year. Before I started smoking weed I was angry all the time, I was self-conscious, I was severely antisocial. At the time, I didnt really realize the difference it made in my life, I was just having a good time, partying, being a kid. Whatevsies. But looking back, I realize that I underwent a radical behavioral change around that time. When I was high, it made the world softer, which made me softer. Believe me, I was a complete ***** and sought to make everyone who even spoke to me as miserable as I was. I cannot say that weed is directly responsible chemically or anything, all I know is that it made me happy. It gives me a peace that I have found nowhere else. Skip ahead a few years...I'm grown now...still smoking weed every day. My short term memory has suffered a bit, I won't lie, but I was still functioning, still doing what I had to do. I have stomach problems. An ulcer to be specific, so eating hurt. I never wanted to eat, the hunger pangs were better than the eating pangs...until....marijuana!!!! First and foremost, it killed any discomfort I felt after eating, and of course induced the munchies so I actually would eat. Altering my diet, and bam, I was golden, no more stomach problems. I am also a very antisocial person, still am, I won't lie, but there is something about ripping a bong that brings people together. Most of my problem with people is talking, just talking, I talk too quietly and get sick of hearing 'What?' all the time, so I dont usually speak. I also find it hard to think of things to talk about that could be relevant to the other person's interests. I am perfectly comfortable being silent and not talking, its the other persons discomfort that makes me uneasy. I'm not boring I promise! You should be in my head!! When high...I find it difficult to stop talking...no thats not true, I'm still pretty quiet, but I will absolutely discuss anything with anyone if given the chance if I'm high. So thus far we've covered medical and social reasons. Now...for mental health reasons! I have been manically depressive since idfk when. Guess what makes me feel better? Being high! There is a marked difference between weed and medication. When I was taking anti-depressants, I was a zombie. Sure, I wasn't flying off the handle for no reason, I wasn't crying myself to sleep not knowing why, but I wasn't happy either. I lost all the passion my hyperactive emotion gave me. I didnt write, I didnt paint, I didnt read, I just existed. I will not live this way! So I scrapped the meds. So for a long period in my life, I was a functioning, contributing, healthy member of society. I loved my life and I loved being alive. You don't know God (and not the conventional Christian manifestation of God) until you're high and just feel the sun on your skin. Its so simple, but so beautiful. It didnt change who I was...well...it didnt change the things I love about myself. The anger and anxiety I could stand losing. Then...then the floor was ripped from beneath me. Clouds muddled the sky. I was arrested for possession of cannabis, possession of paraphernalia, and driving under the influence of cannabis. (this last charge is ****** up, I wasnt even high at the time, but i damn sure was going to be when I got to my destination. I do not condone the use of drugs while operating vehicles) So anyways, lost my license, I'm on probation, i get tested once a month, marijuana takes about a month to get out of my system if i've been using all day every day, a couple of weeks if a get a hitter or two. FUHHHHHHHHHH So now I'm all whacked out, super stressed, ***** falling apart and I don't know how to cope. I need something to take the edge off. You know one of the most ited reasons to keep marijuana illegal is b/c its a so called 'gateway drug'. I CALL BULLSHIT!!!!!!!! I am a fiend for weed. I crave it every day, I emotionally suffer if I don't have it. I just want to be high again, when I want, how I want, with whomever I want. That being said. I have tried other drugs simply because I cannot smoke weed. How the **** do you explain that, eh? Other drugs dont stay in my system so ******* long. If I could legally smoke weed, I'd never ever feel the need to use any other drugs evarrr. But now, in the effort of punishing me for smoking this wonder drug, I am being pushed into heavier and more dangerous drugs....just for the peace it an bring. Everyone needs that. Everyone needs a pick-me-up. Mine is weed. Being denied it makes me so angry and frustrated with my government. This plant has helped me be a better person, has helped me feel compassion, has helped me explore and love myself, has helped me cope with the stresses of life, but I cannot have it....because you say so. and you say so because it will lead me to heavier drugs....**** off....alcohol is responsible for so many ****** up lives and it is legal. I say REGULATE + DISTRIBUTE + TAX= HAPPY PEOPLE, REVENUE, RESPONSIBILITY. all I'm saying man. Don't complain to me about your monetary problems and raise my taxes when you've got this **** on you. Don't tell me its wrong when it helps people with chronic pain and eases the lives of those with terminal illnesses. Don't tell me its going to ruin my life when the only reason why it did is simply b/c its illegal. I'm not pimping out my kids or stealing to get a fix, I cant od on it. WTF MAN!?!?!?! I just want to live in peace, smoke weed everyday, and be happy. That is all.
Forgive the sporadic nature of this post, it has no structure whatsoever, I recognize that, but I just don't feel its necessary to write a draft and perfect it, ya dig? mmk....post over :)
nepenthe333 22-25, F 14 Responses 1 Jul 13, 2011