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Gay Bashing

       Ever since i was 11 I have been made fun of for my sexuality. I came out to my school when i was 10 but the idea didn't really sink in untill i was 11. A girl at my school named Griselda used my sexulaity as a way to make me miserable. She called me many names and it was not just about me being gay. I was called Butt Chin, Geek Patrol, Lesbo, Stupid Homo, and other names too. It was really hard to tell people so i didn't. I never told my parents or anyone. I thought that if i just ignored it that the bullying would just go away. Unfortunatly for me the bullying escalated into something that i never knew possible. I became so self aware of what i looked liked. I was being pushed into lockers, got in trouble with teachers, and got a reputation as a liar. The more i ignored it the more heavy the pain that i was carrying weighed.
    Eventaully I started seeing phyciatrists and other people. It started with just school counselers but then when it became a really big thing it was more known ones thrught idaho.
    I wanted so bad for all of it to just go away. I started crying and i didn't want to go to school anymore i would pretend to be sick just so i wouldn't half to face anyone. Even then my parents had no idea that i was being bullied. I couldn't stand the harassment i was getting. I wanted everything to stop just to go away. I locked everyone out and i never told anyone that i was gay i even started dating guys just to convince them i wasn't. I wore heavy makeup and really lose fiting cloths so no one could make fun of my stomach or breasts or anything else. I even went on a heav demanding diet. It was really hard to face what was happening to me. To me even though my parents said i was beautiful i felt like crap. I felt like nothing. 
    ONe day a friend was staying at my house for the first time in forever. She told me that thousands of kids all over america were telling their bully stories online and were getting support. It's not that i want support but i think that bullying especaill gay bullying is something that no one on this earth deserves to go through. I still get bullied and it is still hard but not as  hard as i was before i saw all of those videos on youtube and all the stories on other sites. I'm not afraid of who i am anymore.
yennegamer yennegamer 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 26, 2011

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wow your story was very moving. Dont let those people bother you, they live in fear of what they dont understand and you have challenged their beliefs... Keep treading you will go far! I also live in Idaho and the people here are cowards when it comes to a new way of thinking and seeing things..... Your a tough person to have handled what you do. I hated school and I didnt have bullying I was just depressed a lot lol.. We all have something we have to overcome I guess. Much love dear, keep fighting you are loved by many!

I'm going to say it straight, because in some situations its best to give a clear answer. I get bullied at school a lot (in my last year now), but I know you won't see it yourself which is why I'm saying it. People, especially teenagers (and teenage girls) can be horrible. They don't understand you, they just know you're different which is why they're bullying you. They don't like people to be different to them, so they hurt you. Sexuality is a choice that can only be made by you, nobody else has the right to tell you who to love. If you want to be straight, bi or lesbian/gay, that's your choice not theirs. So long as you remember that you are better than they are, you'll be ok. School is **** because that's where the bullies are, get out of school with the best grades you can get and you'll do well in life. A lot better than they will. I hope that helps and I hope it makes you feel better. x

It really does. To tell you the truth around when the bullying started and i was going on that heavy diet i was going to support group after almost overdosing on my dad pain medication, my doctor said something similar to that but the way you say it makes me feel better. Everyone in my new school knows too and it's still really bad but i've gotten better and it's not so hard, i did have a falling out in school for a little while I even walked out of class during a test but this year i got straight A's in all my classes even math and i'm on the honor role... so thanks this does help a lot btw both me and my girlfriend appreciate you commenting on this.

It's quite ok, I have a lot of gay (well, mostly lesbian) friends, and I've looked after them as best i can over the years since they came out, so I thought I ought to support somebody who doesn't have that help. School can be a really **** place to be, but once you accept its only going to last a few more years, you're fine. In the end, some people are gonna dislike you just for being different. I say embrace it, accept they're too small minded to like you and enjoy being who you are. Then you'll both go far in life. I'm proud of you. x