Why Men Jack Off And Hide It And Can't Last Long In Bed

So I am sitting here wondering, Why men jack off all the time, but when it comes to having sex with your partner you can't last more than a minute? My husband and i have sex some what on a regular bases. But here lately he can't get me off. NO Big O for me. (sad face). I am starting to get emotionally detached from him, and I don't think that is a good thing. He rather jack off and hide it from me. But when i catch him he denies it. I think I am doing everything right. I shop for sexy clothes to wear for him, by **** to watch with him give him head while he plays video games, i shop for toys and anything else he might want to try. I am an open book. I am whiling to try and do anything to keep him happy, even if it means i am dressing up like princess Lela or and sexy wench ready to do anything. Guy's help I need opinion on what I can do to turn his head back to me and off the jacking off.
Dreamy4u2 Dreamy4u2
31-35, F
19 Responses Feb 28, 2012

Are you sure that without a doubt you love it when you play with him? He must be assured that you like everything that goes on in bed. Get kinky with him. Pee on his **** while your holding it. My wife did that to me. Man i got so hard for so long i couldnt ***.

Are you sure that without a doubt you love it when you play with him? He must be assured that you like everything that goes on in bed. Get kinky with him. Pee on his **** while your holding it. My wife did that to me. Man i got so hard for so long i couldnt ***.

Well you don't know how to spell and you're most likely illiterate, that might have something to do with it...

Make ur ***** tight or **** him harder than before or he is just tired

Wow...I could only WISH my wife tried that hard! I'm the one always trying to get her to try new stuff...never seems to work! For me it's missionary, only missionary, or nothing at all! : (

I would suggest that you take at look at the website: www.yourbrainonporn. When men ********** instead of having sex with their partner, the man may have a **** ************ addiction. This can really screw up a normal sex life between a man and a woman. He needs to stop watching **** and ************ to it to rewire his brain to be attracted to a real woman instead of some **** version of a woman and sex. This process will take awhile and is not a quick fix. But it is worth the effort. He must stop watching **** or he will never respond to you or be sexually attracted to you before **** or before his **** usage increased. The good news is that this is a known problem and finally this condition is being recognized as a sexual addition and a cause eventually of erectile dysfunction with a partner.

Women will never understand men - and vice versa.

And I meant that I was taking care of him. This morning he took care of of himself. misunderstanding on both out parts. I love him, and I am NOT letting him over something that can be worked out.

I was extremely hurt when I found out that my husband of a few Months was watching and jacking off to **** while I was recovering from neck Surgery and sleeping. I thought, could you not have waited for me to wake up???? And mind you, the sex was great after I returned home after week in the Hospital. I had also observed him watching **** on his phone (on silent) twice while in bed together shortly after we met, so you can bet I was concerned. He admitted to being hooked as he was single for 7 years, but why when you have found your soul mate? It hurt to say the least.

Lat week, I had Surgery for Cervical cancer, so no sex for 3 weeks. I have taken care of him for a week if ya know what I mean. He was not worried about me getting an infection because there was actually no physical contact as in penetration. He just got taken care of while I did not. Kinda selfish if you ask me; however, this morning, he took care me of and himself.

I said to him tonight." Wow, you are pretty good at jacking off. Do it all the time"? His reply. "Really??, I am 42 years old. He kept at the conversation pretty upset. I felt bad, and said. "Baby, I am so sorry. It is just the past we have had, but I know it's normal, and I am just as guilty as you are in the past for satisfying myself while you were working". It is a very normal thing, and I vow to myself to get over this stupid jealously thing before it ruins our Marriage,.

He was wrong to do what he did when I was recovering from Surgery, but I need to DROP IT! He said he was sorry many times.

What I will do is participate in that or ****, which will in my opinion will make a healthier marriage. ****. I am almost 49, and my X and I had no problem with it. (Together for 20 years). I guess it was that our relationship started off bad, and there were not two consenting adults to the ****.

Ask him if you can watch next time... Might spice things up????

First of all a man will probably never stop jacking off. Why? just cuz he can, and its super convenient and super satisfying. However that doesnt mean his interest in you should fade, or his sexual interests. I believe regular ************ can heighten sexual desire. It does for me. Does he have a reason to hide it from you? Do you make him feel guilty about it? Im not trying to put any blame on you but, maybe he feels like sex with you is too much of a demand and you have high expectations.

Not all men who jack off all the time have this problem. I've been a sex addict, ********** between 10-20xs/day but I'd much rather have plenty of good fulfilling sex with a partner. Sex where my partner does not ****** is unfulfilling and even depressing sometimes. Its about two people sharing a truly awesome experience together. If that's not possible then I just end up settling for plenty of solo stimulation. I have found that my ************ really has no affect on how long I am aroused or erect during lovemaking with a partner. I usually prefer hour to hour and a half long lovemaking sessions no matter how much jacking off I am doing. OK, just wanted to give you some input there.

Well I would say maybe jumping his butt in the middle of the night!

Wow, sounds to me like YOU are doing everything right and HE is the issue here. I was in the same but reverse situation with my ex. This is what I did to at least help me out. I would let her know I really thought she was beautiful and sexy but if she didn't want to have sex with me, I was going to have to do it solo. I didn't get much reaction out of her , so I waited till we were both in bed and I asked one more time, with the same response, so I got the astro glide and started lubing myself up. I got myself really hard and took my time doing it, so she could hear me doing this and I would occasionally see her look in my direction to see what I was doing. I stroked myself with long stroked and I am sure she could hear me pleasing myself as she watched tv. I made sure I moaned and let her know I was having a good time without her and after maybe 10 minutes of this I shot a very big load all over my belly. I then rubbed my still hard **** until I couldn't stand it anymore and tok the *** I had and rubbed it all over my belly and chest. I got up, with to the bathroom and fell asleep immediately. The next time I asked her the same questions, she did the same thing but as I was pleasing myself , she realized I really didn't need her , she decided to enjoy in and we had a really good **** session.<br />
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Something else I would advise you is to, STOP ALL sexual play with him, dont suck him off, dont dress up, dont make the first move with him. Make him WANT to play with YOU. It might be a little difficult but after some time , I would be willing to bet, he will turn around and show you he wants you and make sure you let HIM do ALL the first moves and push his face down there and let him SATISFY YOU , then you can remind him what things you do for him .

i'll throw my 2 cents in for you sweetie.<br />
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Obviously he is obsessed with sex. my instinct is that he feels inadequate in having sex with you because he **** so quickly. i have had that problem over the years and it is very frustrating because you don't want to ***, but once inside, sexually you're overwhelmed and "thar she blows" so to speak, lol.<br />
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it works on a guys pysche. you know you've left your woman "stranded" and you're not so proud of yourself. Because you're husband and wife, you know its a regular occurence and not just an occassional issue. So there is the possibility that he loves you, knows he dissappoints you in bed, and in ************ there is no pressure to please someone else; hence his preference of self pleasure over failure to satisfy his partner.<br />
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my suggestion is that you prolong the foreplay. since you indicate he can handle you sucking and handling him for long periods of time, do that. However, start shifting the focus from you pleasing him, to him pleasing you through his "hand work" and oral efforts; make him start giving you head. I'd suggest that before you let him ***, he should make you *** at least twice, maybe three times. then you will have been satisfied, he will know that and the pressure of the big "o" isn't there in intercourse.<br />
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just my initial thoughts sweetie, let me know if you want to discuss further. been there, done that.

Dreamy, with all you, you sound perfect. I'd sure like you around.<br />
I'd venture (assuming all you say is accurate) he's trying to 'tell' you something. His behavior sounds like punishment; withdrawal of love, pleasure. <br />
It's conceivable he doesn't find you attractive anymore. But that's a real stretch because I don't know a straight man who does not want a woman's lips and hands and everything else all over him, virtually regardless of her looks.<br />
I suggest you look to some problem between the two of you. I think it will be subtle to you. Obviously, it will be huge to him. A guessing game for you. But it could prove valuable. <br />
Good luck.

Babydolli, I have done this. it's getting to the point that he is doing it at work in the bathroom and while I am sleeping or not at home. He tells me that he loves to have sex with me. But it use to be where it was all about me. Now he just ***s and gets off of me, ask for a smoke and goes to sleep. He is hiding the fact that he is jacking off. We have talked about it, that is where the lotions and dressing up came into play. I am whiling to do anything to make our marriage last and our sex life the best ever but he isn't showing the same effort. Thanks for the advice though I appreciate it.

Perhaps.......and this is a big perhaps not really knowing you......he desires to be held accountable for it.......ie.......he reports to you when he is or feels like it.........that puts the balls ...giggles so to speak back in your court? Please understand I am flying in the darkness here not really knowing you or his side of the story.......but sounds like maybe?......please do not be mad at me........

That is the thing he isn't reporting it to me. If he would I would rather like playing ball. (lol) I am finding out because it's gotten to the point I have to rearrange the lube and I know where I put it and it's in a different spot. I ask him about it and he denies it. So how am i to pleasure him if he isn't whiling to let me help him out. I have done what i could. but I think now it's to the point he rather do it himself. I have even told him i will do what it takes to help him and put the spark back to in our marriage. When we were dating we couldn't enough of each other. And yes I hurt all the time but I will look past the pain and have sex anytime anywhere. I even bought remote control vibrating panties so when we go to the movies or to dinner. he can tease me and i will play with him. nothing. I get more when i do myself. And why would i get mad. I put my story on here for advice. I have to reason to get mad when ya'll are just trying to help. and if i didn't want to hear the truth or opinions i shouldn't have posted it. right.. lol.. Thanks for your opinion.

I would in your situation.......ask him to tell me when he felt like jacking off ......whether or not he thinks he needs **** or pictures or whatever he thinks he needs......give to him and YOU be the one to jack him off it won't take long before he finds himself less dependent on the "other" and more dependent on You!.......imho...baby

We try the lotions and everything else to make you last longer and it didn't work either. they only thing we haven't tried was vigra because the doctor told him he wasn't old enough. He last forever when i am giving head or jacking him off myself. But lately he rather do it himself and leave me in the dark. I am sorry for you situation thank you for your comment.