I Think About This Often

  You know, the reason why I'm so into music of any kind is because of my older sister, Kat. She was not only my sister, But one of the only people I could talk to.

   When she left, it really sucked. I thought I might see her again, but my heart was screaming, "She's lost". Why do we disregard those feelings, the knowing that shouts at us, does the truth hurt that much?

   A little over a year and a half ago, I got a bit of a taste of the lifestyle my elder sister lead. No, not prostitution.I did however, succumb to drug use. Not in a real heavy degree considering it wasn't years of use, it was months. Almost half a year and I was hooked on the high.

   Let me back peddle a moment and explain. Since my older sister was about 11 or 12, she had been having sex and smoking. Didn't really matter what it was, but I guess different variations of deluded variations of cannabis. As time went on, she did more than pot and she started acting... well, not herself. She was lost in the clouds of the permanent high she was stuck in.

   The last time I saw her was when I was 10 in the 5th grade going to the 6th and she was graduating. She is 7 years older than me and 17, the day she graduated was the last time I saw her. That day was July 8th, 2008. 

    Ever since she's been gone Katreena has been in and out of Jail since she was 17 almost 18 that year. It's mainly because she moved back in with her father and her father at the time was still very abusive and drug "savvy".

   My sister is now 21 going to be 22 in November. I know this whole story has gone off and not really explained why or how she influenced me in music and the interpretations I get from it. So, let me tell you.

   My sister being in different places all her life and the situations that she allowed herself into, she grew through music it got her through. She was more empathetic and she felt things more deeply than others and I began to learn that when she introduced me to a world of music that I didn't even begin the comprehend until after she left.

   Music to me is my expression. I'm a fan of any genre and the variations of feeling.
thepinklioness thepinklioness
18-21, F
Jan 7, 2013