Music Soothes The Soul...

Usually it's so easy for me to get lost in a song, a beat, even a melody... It floods my body without asking permission and stays with me as long as I allow myself the freedom. Lately though, that's changed. It's just me and my mind… music doesn't move me the way it did a week ago, a month ago. I can't help but feel scared. In class, it was almost my time to dance and my body wasn’t responding to music. For the second week in a row, I asked my instructor to choose a song for me. I was so lost myself that I wasn’t sure what I was feeling and dreaded the decision to let her pick as I waited my turn.
When my turn came, I did the only thing my body was telling me to do… lay down. I wanted to lay down and not move. I assumed I was tired and that was why I wasn’t connecting with the music. So I lay on my back, knees bent and I wait… my heart begins to beat heavily into the cold hardwood floor of the studio and I brace myself for whatever beat I had already surrendered to.
I feel it first... The bass teases the parts of my skin touching the floor and tickles my bare toes... My head feels heavy with the melody and my body melts deeper into the floor.. slowly twisting, undulating under the weight of the music until she wakes up. My body, my inner dancer, is suddenly awake, aware and takes control. The song seeps through my muscles.. stretching me, moving me... every emotion I’ve felt and have kept myself from feeling was like gasoline on a fire now.
I kept to the floor almost the entire song. The one time I decided to get up, I hated it. All I could focus on was “Why is the floor sooo far away?” ...and with a pole twirl and a bend, I made my way back down. I slithered, I rolled, I twisted and writhed.. pranced... pounced.... I did everything my body told me to do.
My instructor put into words the way it makes me feel when a song comes on that my body loves.. and responds to... "Your inner dancer loves the feeling of this type of music. She moves to it very well- You can tell, you don’t think at all, your body just... does.”
Exactly how it feels.. so natural, easy. Like the first stretch of the morning... you sit up, lift your arms and stretch out your back and legs and it just feels good… That’s the feeling I get when the music begins and from there, it just carries me. The escape it offers feels too good to be true.
tigerlilee tigerlilee
26-30, F
Jan 23, 2013