Thinking About Getting Married...

So i finally got letters from my boyfriend Ryan this past week. In them he was saying that he wants to marry me and he wants me to live with him when he gets stationed... i was really really happy to know that thats what he wants to do because thats what i want to do too because i feel like that is the only way for our relationship to really work out... but im only 17, he is 19 and i don't turn 18 until Aug. by that time Ryan and i will have been dating for over a year... but i keep thinking that i am like sooo young to be thinking about marrying someone, but i really want to. I am also kinda nervous what my dad is going to say when i talk to him about it.. so idk i just i was just wondering if anyone ha any good advise??? let me know, thanks (:
missyproctor missyproctor
18-21, F
4 Responses Mar 19, 2011

I have an idea for how to win your father over. You should get your bf to ask your father for permission to marry you. It will mean a lot to your father and will probably help ease the tension. Also, I would respect your father's opinion about whether the time is right. You may not have to follow exactly what he says but I have learned to listen to my dad. He has lived a lot longer than me and definitely gone through a lot more and experienced a lot more than I have. This is why I respect his opinion because he really knows what he's talking about. I don't always do what he says but its nice to get some guidance here and there. I want my man to ask for permission to marry me.

i agree with RLD and krisalyss, <br />
you could always be engaged for awhile until you two seem more ready for it. my boyfriend and i talk about getting married a lot. the only reason we're not married or engaged right now is of money issues. maybe while your man is at basic you can start saving up for wedding stuff and looking at stuff just to get ideas.<br />
anyways, good luck and keep us updated!! :)

I completely agree with RLD1026. I'm going to tell you what I had told her. As long as you stay true to each other & most importantly TO YOURSELVES then you will be fine. Only you guys really know what you want. Just make sure its not the idea of getting married & being in love that your actually in love with because a lot of girls get that mixed up. Again, the only ones that will know is you & your boyfriend. In my opinion, I think you should wait a little longer, it's no harm in making a promise & getting engaged but to actually get married is a HUGE step and you don't want to make any huge mistakes like that especially when your 17. Figure yourself out & make sure this is REALLY what you guys want. Wait till after tech school at least. My bf is 21 & I'm 20 & he also wrote to me in a letter that he wants to marry me & wants me to live on ba<x>se with him but he's been telling me this even BEFORE he thought of joining the air force. Make sure your not just getting caught up in the thrill of the experience. & if you think you guys won't last through not seeing each other, without getting married & living together then you won't make it through a marriage. It will be different & there is possibilities that he can & will be deployed for MONTHS & his duty comes first no matter how much he might love you. For me being away from my man only makes our relationship stronger & our reason for getting married is simply because we love each other & even though we could endure it we choose NOT to spend another moment apart even though married or not I know eventually we will be apart. Those are just some SERIOUS things to think about. I'm not saying not to follow your heart, just be smart the way you go about it. Only you know the answers to these things. Good luck! (:

This sounds alot like what im going through. My boyfriend left 5 days ago and before he left we have been talking about getting married. We are both 19. He said when he comes home he wants to propose and start setting things up. I am absolutely terrified to even know what my dad will think about that because my sister is 21 and has been with her boyfriend for over 2 years and they have a house together and everything and he still doesnt approve of her getting married. lol but i guess dads are just like that. My mom on the other hand is the total opposite she is like its your life you are over 18 your dad nor i can control what you do. If you want to be engaged and get married do it. So she is supportive which is awesome. :) But i guess my advice would be to do what you feel is right and even if you dont get married right away you can always be engaged. But still i know its scary even for dads to know that lol. But just make your own decision dont let your dad make it for you. Yea he may not approve at all but im sure later on he will. Especially if you prove to him that you and your boyfriend are in love. Because i think my dads problem is that he thinks me and my sister are too young to understand. Which he is completely wrong. lol