Waiting Is So Hard
I've never been good at waiting to hear from someone, whether by phone or text or email. My soldier is in basic right now and I've been really blessed, he writes me a couple of times a week. Recently he went on an emergency leave because his poor mother was in the hospital and passed away. It was the first time in a month we were able to talk on the phone, exchange texts back and forth, and in a way I found those three days more agonizing than when we were only able to communicate through letters. I am worried about what happens next, how I am going to stand it waiting for him to come online or send me a text or call, at any time of day. I read how difficult it is on other people's posts and I get sadder and more scared. We only started dating and though I am head over heels in love with him, we've spent more time apart at this point than we have together... I am thinking that after AIT and his 10 day leave when I will see him again that we should agree to only email or call once a week, maybe on a specific day of the week, so I am not spending every day waiting to hear from him. Is that selfish or is that self-care? I want to be in this for the long haul, I want to be with him in four years when he, god willing, is out of the service. I think about marriage and children, and I have never thought that way about a man before. But I am afraid that I will sabotage it if I try to stick it out for four years. A friend and former army soldier suggested parting ways and agreeing to reconnect in four years when he gets out ... the idea of not speaking to him again for four years is just as painful. I don't know what to do, I am sad and nervous. This is a hard life. I want to hear more happy endings and how couples made the long-distance communication work... Thanks for listening.