Love My Friend With All My Heart....

In the spirit of friendship day I felt that I should say that I have loved my best friend for 25 years. I keep those feelings to myself though. And because I have managed to supress those feelings I am treated just like family. I am truly happy for my female friend, her husband, and their kids. It's just that sometimes I do tend to act strange, by which I mean that I become quiet around their family. When I am asked by my friend as to why I am being quiet? I shrug it off and tell her it's the inner lonliness getting to me. The most wonderful part about my friend is that I think that she truly understands how I am feeling. Please do not misunderstand me when I say I really wish no ill or harm to her husband at all. I am really very happy for my best friend. It's just that every little once in awhile I wish that it could have been me with my friend. Still I love her and her family very much and would never want to see anything bad happen to any of her family as well as herself. Instead I choose to just bite my tongue and press on being the platonic friend. And 99.9 % of the time I am fine in the platonic role. Thank you so very much for reading this and letting it get off my chest.
allsfinebime allsfinebime
56-60, M
9 Responses Aug 2, 2010

That's sweet just be there for her but live your life you seem like a good person and deserve to be loved and be happy

I have loved but never acted I'm weird!!!

You are not weird at all.

I feel like I'm a Martian!!!

I appreciate that there's people Still respect friendship and how it's valuable. ??

its honorable of you to respect her relationship because if you really were meant to be together like that you two surely would of gotten together before she married and had children.I too have a male best friend and truly believe in platonic relationships between men and women,just not all,because your feelings toward that person can change,especially during times of lonliness or when you just need a shoulder,sometimes mistakes can be made which can ruin your reltionship. Im sure you will meet someone soon :)

I too have a longtime female friend that my feelings are similar , well written .

Not sure if this really has a bearing. What if such a "friend" was around at a time when the marriage hit the rocks, when the wife for a time felt unloved. These times can happen in a marriage even when there is real love there; it is possible to get past these times as long as no outside person inserts themselves.

Sometimes a situation develops where the "friendship" then gets out of control, the friend thinks he is saving the wife from a hopeless marriage, the wife thinks she is saving herself, the husband is simply screwed, even though he may be a basically good loving guy making a mistake or being misunderstood.

I oscillate between absolutely hating both the friend and wife and thinking only someone with no character can fall into something like this, and wondering whether anyone with ordinary human weakness in the right circumstances might fall. I can see temptation would be tremendous if feeling were strong. I am sure that you are a very honorable person, I do not mean to imply anything about you, just that there is the danger of painful temptation.

Thank you so very much for your response as well as for your opinion. To this day both my friend and I have shared a platonic friendship with each other for 26 years.

You're very strong to remain her friend while bottling your impulses to take it to another level. I know how difficult this can be and it's precisely why I don't believe in platonic relationships beween men and women.

It does happen, as I have been platonic with my best female friend for 31 years at least. while there hasn't been the spark for about 20 years, we will always be lifelong friends.

That's so very nice to hear. I really do not detect a spark per se? But I do notice at times during our intimate conversations that there are subjects that we just do not broach. We are more like brother and sister after all of these years of friendship. Thank you for your response to my story.

This has just actually happened to me- I have fallen in love with a much younger man from a foreign country- but he is married and still loves his wife- we have become very close friends and chat online over the internet every day- we are chatting almost all day as he works in computers. It's been rough for me -- but we have gotten very close.