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Love And Guilt

When I was in junior high I was really really shy. I then met two people who would become the most important people in my life. I have two best friends, one is named Marie and the other is named Matt. I had told Marie I liked Matt in the 7th grade and months later I guess she thought I got over him because she went out with him, however I'm not one to let guys come between friends, so I let it go. Slowly I started to come out of my shell and started talking more and more with both of them. I found that Matt is brilliant, brave, funny, sensitive (but not too sensitive), and we both share the same troubled pasts. I am now heading into the 11th grade and Marie and Matt have been together on and off several times. Matt has finally told her he doesn't like her, but she tells me that she loves him and wants to be with him forever and will wait because he's all she wants to be with. Over the years she's apologized to me several times because she thinks I like him, but if I'm perfectly honest with myself, I have to admit I love him with all my heart. I'm always there for him and I know he would take a bullet for me. Matt is always dropping little hints that make me think he likes me, but I can't be sure, and I know Marie would never forgive me if I would act on it, she would just wait on the sidelines for us to fall apart. He's always so confused, always hurting because of his families and issues, something I can relate to while Marie can't. Marie is like a sister to me, so I fear that I'll never get to be with him, and I don't have the heart to stand in the way of her happiness, but I think Matt and I are meant to be. He's met almost all of my family and they all approve. My mother loves him and is always saying we'll get married because he's exactly like my father. Matt has actually told me that we'll end up together, as that he knows it'll work. I don't know what to do anymore. Matt and I are getting closer, but so are Marie and I. I love him, but I can't lose her. What do you think?
Adriana6 Adriana6 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 11, 2012

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Talk to Marie about it... If she does not understand, then she is not really your best friend...