A Long Time Coming...

I am a 37 year old woman.  My boyfriend is a 33 year old man.  I was in the Army.  I went to Iraq.  He was a Marine and then a contractor and then a Marine...and he went to Iraq.  We met on yahoo personals.  We went on a date.  That was it. 

But we stayed in touch via email.  I was home from war for good...he went back.  Over the next three years we became friends.  We talked about our dreams, we talked about our life-goals.  We shared religion and politics.  We discussed what each other wanted in a relationship.  He had relationships with other women during this time.  I had relationships with other men.  We were really just friends.  We discussed being together but the timing was never right.  He was taken and involved, I was single.  I was taken and involved, he was single.  So we just stayed friends and continued to get to know each other.  I loved him as a friend...he loved me as a friend.

Then the time came...in December 2009.  First in November, just before Thanksgiving, my boyfriend dumped me.  In December, he and his girlfriend broke up.  It was the first time in those three years since our date that we were both single.  His hometown is a few hours from mine but he immediately came to see me - driving through a wretched snowstorm.

That first night, the first night we had seen each other in person in three years, he picked me up and we drove around - in inclement weather and all.  We talked for several hours.  We got a hotel room and we talked for several more hours and then we had sex for the first time.  It was amazing.  Most times when you anticipate sex with someone for such a long period of time, you will end up disappointed.  In your mind you build it up to be something spectacular and you simply get let down.  Not this time.  It was everything I have dreamed of and more.

But sex is sex.  I am old and wise enough not to tie emotion to it just yet.  We remained friends, the kind with benefits.  We both agreed to not jump into the relationship part of it but that the sex would be exclusive.  After a month or a little longer, we decided we would like to try dating, but still take it slow.  Not jump into introductions to family and friends and all of that.  Not keep it a secret but not incorporate our lives together.  Now after three months we are in love.

Three months doesn't seem like a very long time to figure out you are in love with someone but I can honestly say it took three years, for both of us, to figure it out.  The intimate part of our relationship is new...but the friendship and respect that builds love has been three years in the making. 

I have been in too many ****** relationships.  He has had his share of those too.  The honesty and respect and communication and respect that all of our past relationships have lacked are abundant in ours.  He is honestly my best friend and my lover. 

MollyB1972 MollyB1972
36-40, F
3 Responses Mar 16, 2010

A true love story. You have known each other for long enough to know your minds and that the feeling in the hert is true. I am pleased for you both and wish you both a happy future together

I believe falling in love with my boyfriend didn't just happen. I knew from the start - he was going to be a huge part of my life. All of the "talking" and communicating we did is how we came to fall in love. And we are in love - but it stems from something so much deeper than just physical attraction and I believe in todays society "in love" is really just another way to say "In lust". <br />
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Love can not happen - ever - 1) if you don't love yourself and 2) if you can not be honest with yourself - and others. <br />
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People often sell themselves as something better than they really are...it's normal human nature, but that doesn't make it right. It doesn't make it wrong either, however, selling yourself as a Cadillac when you are really a Taurus (metaphorically speaking!), will only set you up for failure. I'm so tired of "selling" myself at all - it's just take it or leave it and I don't care one way or the other. <br />
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I make my faults and failures just as clear as my good traits and accomplishments to anyone and everyone. I believe this foundation has made it possible for me to be in the amazing relationship I am in...the man knows me inside and out and loves me anyway. :)

It is amazing - and almost surreal, really - how comfortable we are with each other. I won't say we don't have our occasional problems, but thruth be told - they are never anything to write home about. They are things that we talk about and handle - and then move on. I have spent my life beliving turmoil was the major thing existing in relationships - things are not like that now and I feel like my fairy tale has come true. :)