When I Wasn't Even Looking...

I never thought that I'd find someone so wonderful and awesome and perfect for me.  And I never thought that if I did, that he would think that I was perfect for him too.  And just when I had given up all hope, there he was.  He is so perfect and I am so crazy about him it't nuts!!!

Before I say any more, I have to say that I'm not blinded and all gaga and stupid.  We both have flaws and we're both a bit broken from previous spouses.  And when we argue (though it isn't often) it can be pretty intense.  But one of us realizes whats happening at a some point in the argument and stops the ammunition from flying down range.  It isn't always him or me; just, at a point, one of us realizes that we're really reacting from past pain and OVER-reacting and that the moment is actually silly or much smaller than it seemed at first.  At the end of every argument, we both end up talking really openly about what was really eating away at us and making us say ****** things.  And we both try to resolve our own issue and never say such nasty things to each other again.

We are so alike in so many ways.  We have so many interests that are the same, and parts of ourselves we were never free to express in our previous situation.  He's just so amazing and smart.  His interests align with mine, but are not necessarily exactly the same.  We both have interests that the other has never done before as well as things we both love to do.  And he is so sexy!!! 

I was never one for 'chemistry.'  I never thought that connecting at that level really mattered.  That's probably where I've always gone wrong!!!  There's just something about him, the way he looks, the expression on his face, SOMETHING  that just drives me wild.  I love his face.  I love the rest of him too!!!

The only dark cloud that makes me cry, is that we still live just too far apart.  We live in different states, at opposite ends!!!  And we're both recovering from evil awful experiences which makes moving to either state impossible.  But, I just try to wrap myself around the future that we'll eventually be together.  I can't wait though.  You know, when you finally realize what you want in your life, all you want more than anything is to wrap yourself around him and never let go.  When you finally know what you want to do with your life, you really want to start living it that second.

I love you baby, with all my heart.  No matter how long it takes us, it's so worth every frustrating lonely moment!  You are the best thing, the most perfect man ever and I love you with everything I have.

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Jul 23, 2010