After Everything, I Still Love My Boyfriend To Tears.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 16 months (1 yr, 4 months). We've had a bumpy ride, especially the second part of our relationship. We have had so many fights and arguments, but whenever there's something bothering us, we try to talk it out and vow to put each other's feelings first and be more considerate next time. It's really hard for both of us to put our id-ego aside, especially since we're both so stubborn and easily irritated, but for each other we try. Today, I just felt pushed over the edge with the amount of arguments we've gotten into and how we promise to keep doing better. I broke down in front of him in the middle of a fight and he just hugged me. I told him I'd lost faith in us, that I sometimes didn't see the point in staying together if this is how it's going to be the rest of our relationship. I told him I feel like he had fallen out of love with me because lately, things haven't been how they used to be. I told him how he doesn't look at me our touch me the way he used to. He doesn't smile at me like he used to. I don't even know if he thinks about me the way he used to. But when I accused him of this, and told him I can't be in a relationship where I feel unloved with constant fights, a tear fell down his cheek and he said he doesn't want us to break up and he won't let me feel that way anymore. He said, "I've thought about breaking up, just as you have, believe me. But not for ONE second did I ever think I didn't love you anymore. That has never changed." I don't know what exactly will change, hopefully something will, because I love him so much. I call it my 'downfall', that I can't hate him. I still look at him and think to myself how beautiful he is and how lucky I am. The thought of him without me or with somebody else kills me. I don't want us to be over no matter how many times I've said it, being sick of all the arguing and lack of affection. Maybe this is a wake up call he needed from me. I hope all goes well with us because he totally has my heart.
jas728 jas728
18-21, F
1 Response May 19, 2012

good luck. i wish the best. never give up :)

thank you :)