I Love Him Just Really Confused!:( Help??

Hi everyone my name is Ciara. I'm writing this story for advice & help so please don't leave any rude comments. if you have something mean to say just keep it to yourself...
Ok...i am a senior in high school & my boyfriend of almost four years and i have a two year old son together. We met when i was in 8th grade going to 9th and when he was in high school (grade im not sure) well he ended up dropping out of school and tried getting a ged which didn't really workout. i supported him and everything. our first yr together was hell!! But we stuck together when we were together for almost a year i found out i was pregnant!! We were both shocked. scared. excited. basically every emotion there possibly is. well we ended up deciding to keep the baby. when i was almost eight months pregnant he had to leave(not by choice) he missed the birth and got to come back home when the baby was 6 months old. The weekend of his first Easter actually. We were ok we would argue every now n then but nothing to serious...well a week before our son's first birthday he had to leave yet again (not by choice again). luckily we knew that time so we celebrated it early. Well he ended up coming home when our son was almost 15 months old.(a year and three months) we ended up holding christmas off and celebrating it the first week of january since our son didn't know the meaning of christmas. And it was a surprise. We were always ok....well my mom is a big *****...ughh dk how to even describe her. He ended up moving out of my house & into a friend's house which wasn't too far(i could walk there without being extremely wore out) so i didn't really mind. we didn't see much of each other but at least a few times a week...i actually got in a big fight with my mom and took our son and stayed over there for a full week & it was great! anyway he couldn't really pay rent and was getting sick of his friend so he moved in with his mom who is theeee biggest ***** anyone could ever meet! you do the slightest thing to **** her off she calls the cops on you...well her & my bf kept fighting and school was about to start & i needed him to watch our son while i went to school (its my last year!) so he was here for about two weeks and then ended up moving back in with his mom. he was using a cellphone of my mom's and paying her 20 each week untill he couldn't pay it anymore. So now he is at his mom's who i hate with no cell phone...

So the reason im really confused?...Me&my bf have had a pretty good relationship for the past four years. well i deleted my fb because it was causing a lot of problems with us...well i reactivated it (for those who know you can't actually delete fb which is retarded but ohh well). and he was actually ok with it...until today. now he thinks that i lied about even deleting it and i tried to explain to him how fb works when you "delete" it. but he is one of those guys who will put every single thought out there but won't let you get one single word in. We don't talk much since him living at his mom's...which is why i reactivated fb...i message him & write on his walls & he wont reply back. I call him usually late at night after i put our son to bed & my hw is all finished...and today he hung up on me three times...It is really hard to just let go and not care when you have a kid. I just dk what to do? i love him so much i mean that is the father of my amazing son! without my bf my son wouldn't be here. I don't want to have to end this relationship...this is thee longest and best relationship ive ever been in...im just tired of argueing. I deactivated my fb again but he don't think i really did. and my mom has been watching our son while im at school since i won't let him around his grandma(his dad's mom) I just got a call today from a daycare place saying they have an opening to possibly help me pay for daycare just hopefully the daycare i want him in has an opening spot. I'm a senior like i said earlier and finish in jan. I just want our relationship back to how it was...i can't drive yet(i will get my license this month) and neither can he(he wrecked a car that didn't have insurance and they took his away and he cant afford to pay for it back) i feel like once i can drive maybe things will get better because then i can drive us to like the movies and we can have alone time...as long as i can find a babysitter. (trust me i'm not one of those piece a **** mom's...i love my son with all my heart and hate being away from him and i would give him anything i could&i love his daddy) someone please help!:( i don't want four years to just go down the drain...and i want my son to have mommy&daddy.
babymama16 babymama16
22-25, F
3 Responses Sep 12, 2012

Facebook ruins a lot of things, my parents who have been together for almost 30 years almost spilt up,my adive...Stay off facebook..

thanks for the advice, it is honestly sooooo hard! i'm like addicted to facebook. i delete it then i end up reactivating it again!:( wish i could let it go for good. i mean i dont talk to other guys or anything on it just it's hard.

yeah, i know what you mean. Im addicted too, an so was my mom,she owns a shop,an it has a facebook page,so it was hard for her too stay off. But she is better off without it,think about it..is all the stress an **** worth going through,because of Facebook

Wow. Your boyfriend's temper and personality of hanging up and not replying sounds like my boyfriend to a "T." And it's scary close to everything in my relationship about your boyfriend not believing you on anything, a baby boy, and four years together. <br />
All I can say is, everything eventually works itself out, even when you feel one hundred percent fed up with everything. Just both of you show your son the love he needs, and patience will do the rest. Good luck.

thanks. :) and that's crazy how alike we are. :) and yes my bf has a big temper!!lol.

Also forgot to add. He comes from a family were his parents cheat on each other all the time and lie all the time and fight all the time!! he has two older bros and one younger...His oldest one is married and have almost two kids and they fight ALL the time he has even hit her & head butted her....His second oldest brother isn't married but has a gf and they have a baby who is eleven days older then my son and i have actually seen them fight and it was thee worst girl on guy fight ive ever seen! and they are really mean to their baby :( then me & my bf we have a good relationship he has never hit me....EVER and i wanna keep it that way. then his younger bro is like 14...Also my bf doesn't like the fact of our son going to daycare...i know he should have a say but who else is there to watch him!? he is always too busy & my mom works third.

Keep faith in your relationship. My boyfriend's family is sincerely hardcore, so I know all too well how the argument thing goes, and all too well about it resulting in physical harm. Try to keep your association to his family to a minimum. I unfortunately was never given advice, nor asked, and now it's like cowboys and Indians when I get near his family. I tolerated a lot of bullcrap, and finally decided that four years of it was enough and now I no longer communicate with any of them. You may end up not talking to his family eventually, or you may end up being best friends, but always remember and remind yourself that you are in love with your man and son, but that doesn't make you obligated to be in love with his family. And if your boyfriend is really like mine, you'll need to remind him that you're dating him and NOT his family, meaning everything that goes on between you or decisions you two try to make together, doesn't always have to involve them in it.
Anywhos, I hope you two get things straightened out. Good luck.

ohh no. my bf don't really care for his family...well i mean yeahh he loves them but he's knows that it is our relationship and that doesn't involve his family. i actually got into a fight with his mom because she was trying to get in on our relationship...but he puts up with them for the same reason i put up with my parents...because without them we would be out on the streets!