Love Him But Hate Him...

I don't know what to think of my boyfriend.. We've been off and on together for 5 years.. Its been a rough 5 years too.. I love him I really do but sometimes he just doesn't seem to know me. Tells me he rather not deal with my stuff if I went to his friends house but he "wants me to go".. Then wouldn't I just go if he wanted me too??

Today he didn't care to share with me that his first day off in two weeks is tomorrow.. His house is having some bad pluming problems and he went to go get a hotel.. Why wouldn't he want me to be staying with him? If he would have told me I would most likely be with him. Then he says well maybe tomorrow in the morning you can bring some beer and we'll go at it. So I ask him what room are you in and he says why... We kinda get into it and it basically ends up him saying that he hates when I show up at places because it makes him look stupid and I look crazy.. But were together why not show up why not share things why should that matter?? He won't even tell me where his friends place is because I'm crazy. **** I used to be crazy because he was running around with his ex girl friend who is like 5' 3'' and 90 pounds and here I am 6' and 190.... How can I even be attractive to him? I am manly compared to this girl who he can just pick up and **** which is virtually impossible for me since I'm his height... Gosh I don't like the way that makes me feel.. I know were doing better but I think that is more that I'm trying not to freak on him or be so jealous.. Because when I was off in college he was here at his moms house while I was out getting trashed going out blacking out being stupid so I feel that he deserves to be able to go out and do his thing with out me.. But to my side I always was paying for him to come down and stay with me I let him live off me paid for everything he wanted and we would go out together.. UGH I just am so dizzy right now with all the things going on...
af621 af621
22-25, F
1 Response Jan 30, 2013

You can do better. . If that was a relationship that was going anywhere, it would have gone there by now. Get your tall, sexy *** out there and meet a real man who knows how to appreciate a real woman!